cross my heart and hope to die

Yet another drive with Randy. and it was quiter then the last time.
 it felt like that silence u get after u and ur mom get in a big fight in the car about how uve been dressing like a whore, or how she thinks ur on drugs or somthing and she doesnt aprove, that kind of akward silence. You could feel the tension.We didnt speak. we didnt look at eachother. nothing. I couldnt talk to him. not after he helped out with yet another one of sheldons little schemes even after me and him "bonded", if u will. We were back to square one and again i wanted to wring his neck. But somewere inside of me. I could forgive him. because i knew that just because we were forced to be partners on a school project doesnt change that hes a socs. and im a greaser. This social class seperation is starting to give me whip lash.

"uhh that way." i said telling him the directions, figuring i had to loosin' up so we could just  finish the damn project. We pulled infront of my place.  "im not sure whos here. but im hoping u wore a cup just incase." i said jokingly as we walked up to the porch. he laughed slightly nervously. "im being serious man." i said shrugging as i opend the door before he could respond. "home!" i yelled to who ever was there. I heard talking and laughing in the living room. i walked in to find about half the gang hanging out. Everyone stopped talking and looked at us. "project." i said a little fast and nervous before anyone could say anything. Dallas stood up slowly, kind of like he was ganna act on his feelings. but i grabbed randy by the arm and brought him upstairs faster than you could say pumpernickle.

"you know your ganna have to hang out with us later..right?" i said as i locked my door from my friends. never thought id see the day were i hide a head socs in my room from them. "i know. that cup is sounding pretty good right now" he said smirking. "wow..so ur room..its dark." he said looking around.  "pretty much" i said admiring the black and red pattern that seemed to reoccur. okay this is me pressing the fast forward button through me and adderson's akward small talk and what not :3.

"next question. what do your parents do as an occupation?" he read off the sheet. "they get blasted. next." i said as i layed down playing with a piece of string.
"okay my Dad drinks alot as well but u have to put a-"  i cut him off. "i dont have parents anymore. calling them parents is like calling pee wee herman ur average joe." i said getting a little frustrated. "well do you live with them?" he asked sounding kind of concerned. "nope. i didnt feel like getting smacked around anymore." i answered nonchalantly
"..we'll skip that one." he said, continuing the list of questions.
 we were just about finished with our question sheet when someone began knocking on my door in a familiar rythm. "time to eat. you to adderson. hows everything goin in there?" it was johnny. suprinsingly acting worried. he doesnt worry about me much. he knows he doesnt have to. "uhmm..fine?" i said kind of laughing. "okay..well time to eat." he said as he walked down the hall "i could go now if you would like.." he said uncomfortably. it was funny seeing him outside of his comfort zone, he acted like a scared little orphan, i kind of enjoyed it in a way. "would u relax?" i said smiling. "now come on. it wont be that bad." as we got closer i remembered that tonightt was the night wen we had the gang over for dinner, but not all of them could make it considering it was the day before christmas eve and they had to visit family and stuff. but there was still alot of people.  i just kept thinkin, this is ganna be a long night..

we stepped into the room and everyone shot randy dirty looks. "what are u doin here, prick?" Dally said stepping forward i stepped inbetween them, i knew dal wasnt going to try and crush him with his "words"."i thought we already established that me and Dawn here have a project to do, so for once in your life act like a civilized human being rather than a neanderthal." randy said proudly with his arms crossed over his chest.  dallas stepped forward and i grabbed him by the shoulders trying to calm him down. "dallas take it easy okay.." i said quietly. he ignored me. " are u lookin to get ur face bashed in?" dallas said through gritted teath and angry eyes. " oh i think he is dall." jamie said smiling. "jamie dont add fuel to the fire -.-" i said shooting her a look. " oh please. you dont scare me greaser" randy said shaking his head, sizing dal up. Soon It was a comotion, with twobit and soda holding back dall as he cursed left and right, and Randy was doing the exact same back. i was yelling for Dallas to stop it while i stood in between them. there was so much yelling i dont even think either of them heard what eachother were saying, but they looked vicious like they were about to rip eachothers heads off.  "QUITTEEE!!!!!" kit  yelled as she banged a big pot with a spoon. " i want to kill him as much as the next guy but can we PUHLEASE eat dinner already?" Dal didnt look like he was ready to cooperate. he continued giving randy a look of disgust. but atleast everything had calmed down and the yelling stopped. "come on dal.." soda said. after a few seconds of intense staring dallas turned and walked away to the table. i exhaled, and turned to face randy "you dont have to eat here if u dont want.." i said quietly "yea. really. u dont have to stick around." brook said with a dirty look. "oh shut it brooklyn why dont you  mind your own buissness." randy said with an equally nasty look. "Dawn control ur spoiled rich kid please." brook said with her arms crossed. "come on.." i said. bringing randy to my room. i was mad. i was mad at everyone. i was mad at dallas. randy. everyone. they didnt even have to aknoledge eachother. it was unessasary to fight like that, and its causing me to get a shit grade on my project because they couldnt control themselves. we got up to my room. "what are you doing?"  randy said as i looked in my top drawer. i pulled out my lighter and a pack of newports. "want one?" i said already having the ciggerette in my mouth, about to light it. he hesitated, then took a ciggerete. "why not." he said smirking. "sorry about that." i said, throwing him the lighter. "my friends are just mad about wats been goin on with bob and shit. cant say im to happy about it either." "dont apologize. it wasnt your fault..sometimes i just want to end it. what does money have to do with anything? sometimes i want us to all just be equal..but its not that simple.." he said then taking a long drag from the ciggerette. "you dont have to be like the rest of them ya know" i said. "i kinda do. its how i was raised, how i was taught. its not fair" he said looking really consentrated. there was silence for a moment. just the sound of us inhaling and blowing out the cigarette smoke. "you know.  your not to bad adderson." i said.  "but you know were ganna have to go back to hating eachother tomorrow after this is over...and i have to be honest i kind of enjoyed hanging out with you" "..yea me to" we kind of just looked in eachothers eyes for a moment. he was such a good looking kid. to bad he had to be friends with those jerks, i thought. he started moving closer to me.  and i started getting confused. he put his hands slowly around my waist grabbing my hips with his cold hands, he moved my hair from my shoulder, pulled me closer and started kissing my neck. "uhmmm...wat are u doing?" i said putting my hands on his, moving them away from my hips. "relax.." he said moving his hands back were they were and slowly moving his lips to mine. he tasted like mint and ciggeretes, my favorite. my eyes started closing slowly.. It took me a few seconds of really good kissing to come back to reality. "woah woah woah. this cannot happen" i said pulling myself back away from randy."whats the problem?" he said looking at me confused. "whats the problem?..whats the problem?! the problem is that idk u have a gf?  ur a socs? idk randy u do the math." i yelled as i crossed my arms and gave him that pissed off/upset look. i heard a knock on the door. "uhh is everything okay in there?" james said through the door. she must have heard the yelling. "uhh yea. yea..ill be out in a minute james." i said probably sounding unsure. "if you say so.." jamie said as i head her walk down the hall. i knew she didnt believe me. shes to smart. "i think its best if you go.." i said looking at him. he just looked at me confused for a moment with hard eyes "...alright..."he walked out of my room and i shut the door. i went back into my top drawer and got out my whisky and took a few sips to clear my head, and get the taste of him out of my mouth. why would he want to kiss me, a greaser from the gang that he fights with the most out of all greaser gangs? i kept trying to figure it out but i couldnt. i didnt get it. just two weeks ago we hated eachother. i wasnt mad. because it would be a lie to say i didnt want to kiss him to. i was just confused.