Janies got a gun

the feeling of being confused really drives me insane.
i knew two things. i did like randy. and the second thing i knew was that relationship probably could never work out..unfortunatly. After i realized this, i didnt know what to do with myself. should i talk to him? should we just be friends? or should i just ignore him? thoughts whirled around my head like a washing machine. "whisky..wheres the whisky.." i mumbled to myself as i looked under my bed and in my drawers. "looking for this?" i heard someone say from behind me. "ah-ha! u found it. thanks johns" i said reaching for the bottle, then johnny moved it quickly behind him dodging me. "uhmm." i said kind of laughing "whats up johnny? why do i get the feeling ur not ganna give me my whisky.." "oh. probably because im not." he said smiling, still hiding the bottle behind his back. "uhm. john. i dont want to do this. but if this is how its ganna be, i will seriously maul u to the ground." i said with a straight face. "Dawn listen kiddo. uve been drinking alot latley. u dont need this trust me." He said sincerely. i shot him a cold glair. "yeaaa..im ganna go find a muffin..errr somthing" he said akwardly, then dashed down the hall way with the bottle. Great, i thought. now i have nothing to help me think. "dawn?" i turned around. i took a breath to keep myself from letting my frustration out. "yes brook." "Dim and jelly are back today. everyones meeting up there tonight. plus im sure they'll have drinks there" she winked. drinks?  i thought happily. "what are we waiting for?" i said smiling.

we walked on the train tracks on our way to dims. "ever wonder where these trains go?" brook said as she ballanced on the tracks. "nope." i said plainly as i lit a ciggerete. "what if one goes to california? or florida? uw or canada!" she said as her mind wandered. as she rambled on, i saw some people in the distance. I squinted hard to try and make out there faces. My heart sank when i finally did. I saw Randy and his little socs friends walking down the street, towards me and brook. i cut off brook while she was still talking "dude. look what the cat dragged in" she looked in the distance and her eyes widend. "oh god.. what do we do?" she said. "nothin'." i said walking in the same path. "lets just man up." "ugh. dawn. i dont want to "man up". im a girl!" she said whining. "brooks. just act natural." i said.  Just as they were about to pass us, they stopped infront of us. i didnt even look at Randy. Just at there little group leader. "Move." The girl said coldy, pushing her brown hair off her sholder. Brook stood behind me keeping her mouth shut. "Listen. Lets not make this into a fight over a  petty argument, because ur face will probably be broken if thats the case."  I said giving her a cold stare. "no. you listen greaser. Ur in our way." Randy said coldy. my jaw almost fell to the floor. I hoped to hell he was just saying that because his friends were there. I shook my head slowly. i walked close to him and put my finger in his face. "You. discust me." i said quietly threw clenched teeth. He looked at me, but he didnt look like he gave a fuck. "come on brook." i said, not taking my eyes off his, still in his face. I pushed against his sholder with mine as i walked away. Me and brook didnt exchange a word for the remainder of the walk.

"hunny im home." i said as i walked in dims house, seeing everyone in the living room. Me and brook exchanged our hugs and greetings to dim and jelly, telling them how much we missed them. And just to be a dork i gave Bre a hug and told her how much i missed her, even though i had just seen her the day before xD. "so guys. where's the alcohol?" i said to whoever was listening. "kitchen" jelly said pointing. i walked over to the kitchen, even though i wanted to haul ass, because well, i really needed a drink. "perfect, jager.." i said queitly to myself as i picked up the bottle and put some in a cup. I downed it fast. I didnt feel like thinking about Randy. hes not worth confusing my brain. "hey dawn." Dim said walking into the room with a stranger, a very attractive stranger might i add. but i did remeber him from a picture i saw of dim and him back in cali that was on dims dresser. he had grey blue eyes, that were just completley mezmorizing. it was the first thing i noticed about him. is everyone from california beautiful? lols. he made me feel weak and girly just by him standing in the doorway. i fuckin hate that feeling. but i couldnt help it. "I got to run out real quick, can you hang out with chase for a while till i get back?"  Dim said. " yea yea. no problem" i said almost jumping at the offer. I hope it wasnt complatley obvious that he made me nervous. "what you drinkin there?" he asked. he had a sexy voice, i thought. "uhm..jaeger." i said nodding my head. "mmm." he said smirking, as he took the bottle from my hand and poured it in a cup "im sorry, i didnt formally introduce myself. Chase." he said sticking out his hand with a cute side smile. i liked that these cali boys were total gentlemen, i wasnt used to it. i smiled and shook it. "Dawn."  i replied. " well miss Dawn, hows the scene down here in Tulsa?" he asked curiously. "welp. you got ur snooty rich kids, rodeos, we got an art museum..i guess thats pretty cool if ur into that kind of stuff, you got ur down town area where alot of people hang out. gang rivelries.and lame chinese food. but. it aint all that bad. we're all real close, so we make the best of everything. its probably not as exciting as cali though. God that place sounds bitchin'." i said smiling. he laughed a little "yea its not to bad. If your into 100 degree weather and earth quakes" he said smirking. "how long u plannin on staying anyway?" i said. hoping it was a little bit longer then a week vaca. he laughed a little. "what?" i said smirking. "ur accent. its soo.. genuine. i like it." he said. "you enjoy hick accents? i dont." i said blushing, but laughing. "well, i wouldnt call it a hick accent." he said laughing. Dim walked into the room and raised an eye brow. "uhm dawn. brook said you guys have to leave now, since u have school tomorrow." dim said. "oh... well ill be seeing yall" i said and left the room. i was disapointed. i wanted to keep talking to him. i didnt know if id see him again. he was different. i liked it.