I paced apprehensively in my room, and I had bitten my nails down to the nub.
I felt like I had been waiting hours for kit to get to my place. Finally i heard a knock on my door. I went to the door quickly and unlocked it. "God damn kitty, took you long enough!" i said "hey relax. i got here when u asked me to dummy. Its 3 o clock?" she said pointing to the clock on the wall. i hadnt even looked at the clock..but it felt like forever. "oh..right. sorry." i said calming down. "listen Dawn. you dont have to say much. we'll go in, then go out. simple as that. got it? now get your panties out of a bunch and lets go." kit said. Her pep talks are usually fool proof on me. but not this time. My stomach was in a knot and my feet felt like they were nailed to the floor. We finally left and i smoked 4 ciggerettes until we finally reached the sign. "here we are. cherry lane. such a happy name, for such a shitty place." i said shaking my head as we stared at the street sign. kit patted my back and kept walking. I stared at it for a moment, lit a ciggerette and moved forward. The sun was just starting to go down, the sky was filled with pinks and oranges. As we got closer, i clenched my hands in fists and tried to slow down the beating in my chest. Me and kit barely talked. there was nothing to say.
I looked up and saw the place i spent my child hood. i shook my head in discust. the place made me sick just by the sight. All i could think was, this is where i lost my innocence, this is where i wasted my youth..
I closed my eyes for a moment. "you got this." kit said encouragingly, and with that, we procieded towards Katherine and Michael Cade's house. We got on the porch and i literally felt like i needed to go throw up in a bush (preferably thier bush, for my own amusment) but all jokes aside, my stomach was turning. I felt like it took me 5 years to lift up my hand and ring the door bell. After a few moments, i heard shuffling in the house, and someone unlocked the door. I sighed. The door opend and i Saw Katherine. she had a confused but happy look on her face. "Dawn. this is a pleasent suprise." She said. I didnt look at her. i looked every where but at her. "i need the necklace." i said plainly. I had gotten a necklass from my grandmother when she was on her death bed, and she meant the world to me, it was a gold locket, and i had left it here when we left. "oh right of course." she said. "why dont you both come on in? We made cookies" she said smiling and nodding. I knew the whole thing was a fasad. She was only acting nice to get me back in the house so she could push me around some more. "no thanks." i said. still not looking at her. "well dear i dont know where you left your necklass, youll have to come in and look for it anyway. it might be in ur room." I walked in without saying anything, and me and kit went upstairs. It felt so odd walking through those same halls. I saw on the wall where me johnny and brook got messured when we were younger. So many memmories this place held in its walls. I passed johnnys old room and saw it had a race car bed and toys. my heart sank, do i have another sibling? i thought. "kit. look." i said quietly, pointing into the room. she raised her eye brows. neither of us said anything. we continued to my room. "this is ganna take forever dawn. how are u ganna remember where u put a necklass from years ago?" Kit said putting her hands on her hips. "its in there." i said pointing to my old diary. I opend it with the key, and there it was. I smiled and took the dusty diary and my necklace from the room. Kit left the room and started down stairs. I looked around for a minute. You could still see the sunset peaking from over the trees out of my window. I turned off the light in my room, and went down stairs. "what are you two doin here" my drunken father said with a nasty look on his face. He aged so much through those couple years. I tried to ignore him, the door was right there and then i would never have to see this place again. his arm stopped me and kit from walking out the door. "i knew youd come back. You need us." he sneered. I didnt look at him either. but behind Michael i saw a scared little boy. with bright blue eyes and black hair. He looked like me. He stood behind his father, and he had a bruise on his cheak. he couldnt have been more then 2 or 3. "hey! do you hear me!" michael said, taking me out of my thoughts. He shook me real fast. I remember promising to myself i would never let that man hit or hurt me ever again. "you dont fucking touch me." i said looking at him dead in the eye. "you hear me? ur a piece of shit. And i feel sorry for that little boy standing behind you, who has to grow up in this sorry excuse for a home." I said with anger. He was stunned. "i am not afraid of you anymore. and i sure as hell dont need you." Right before we left, i stared into the little boys scared eyes sympathetically. My father probably would have back handed me in the face, but he was to shocked to make a move. I grew up alot over the years. Me and kit walked out the door. I smiled, and we walked home.
"why should i play by the rules? i didnt know i was playing any sort of game."
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Janies got a gun
the feeling of being confused really drives me insane.
i knew two things. i did like randy. and the second thing i knew was that relationship probably could never work out..unfortunatly. After i realized this, i didnt know what to do with myself. should i talk to him? should we just be friends? or should i just ignore him? thoughts whirled around my head like a washing machine. "whisky..wheres the whisky.." i mumbled to myself as i looked under my bed and in my drawers. "looking for this?" i heard someone say from behind me. "ah-ha! u found it. thanks johns" i said reaching for the bottle, then johnny moved it quickly behind him dodging me. "uhmm." i said kind of laughing "whats up johnny? why do i get the feeling ur not ganna give me my whisky.." "oh. probably because im not." he said smiling, still hiding the bottle behind his back. "uhm. john. i dont want to do this. but if this is how its ganna be, i will seriously maul u to the ground." i said with a straight face. "Dawn listen kiddo. uve been drinking alot latley. u dont need this trust me." He said sincerely. i shot him a cold glair. "yeaaa..im ganna go find a muffin..errr somthing" he said akwardly, then dashed down the hall way with the bottle. Great, i thought. now i have nothing to help me think. "dawn?" i turned around. i took a breath to keep myself from letting my frustration out. "yes brook." "Dim and jelly are back today. everyones meeting up there tonight. plus im sure they'll have drinks there" she winked. drinks? i thought happily. "what are we waiting for?" i said smiling.
we walked on the train tracks on our way to dims. "ever wonder where these trains go?" brook said as she ballanced on the tracks. "nope." i said plainly as i lit a ciggerete. "what if one goes to california? or florida? uw or canada!" she said as her mind wandered. as she rambled on, i saw some people in the distance. I squinted hard to try and make out there faces. My heart sank when i finally did. I saw Randy and his little socs friends walking down the street, towards me and brook. i cut off brook while she was still talking "dude. look what the cat dragged in" she looked in the distance and her eyes widend. "oh god.. what do we do?" she said. "nothin'." i said walking in the same path. "lets just man up." "ugh. dawn. i dont want to "man up". im a girl!" she said whining. "brooks. just act natural." i said. Just as they were about to pass us, they stopped infront of us. i didnt even look at Randy. Just at there little group leader. "Move." The girl said coldy, pushing her brown hair off her sholder. Brook stood behind me keeping her mouth shut. "Listen. Lets not make this into a fight over a petty argument, because ur face will probably be broken if thats the case." I said giving her a cold stare. "no. you listen greaser. Ur in our way." Randy said coldy. my jaw almost fell to the floor. I hoped to hell he was just saying that because his friends were there. I shook my head slowly. i walked close to him and put my finger in his face. "You. discust me." i said quietly threw clenched teeth. He looked at me, but he didnt look like he gave a fuck. "come on brook." i said, not taking my eyes off his, still in his face. I pushed against his sholder with mine as i walked away. Me and brook didnt exchange a word for the remainder of the walk.
"hunny im home." i said as i walked in dims house, seeing everyone in the living room. Me and brook exchanged our hugs and greetings to dim and jelly, telling them how much we missed them. And just to be a dork i gave Bre a hug and told her how much i missed her, even though i had just seen her the day before xD. "so guys. where's the alcohol?" i said to whoever was listening. "kitchen" jelly said pointing. i walked over to the kitchen, even though i wanted to haul ass, because well, i really needed a drink. "perfect, jager.." i said queitly to myself as i picked up the bottle and put some in a cup. I downed it fast. I didnt feel like thinking about Randy. hes not worth confusing my brain. "hey dawn." Dim said walking into the room with a stranger, a very attractive stranger might i add. but i did remeber him from a picture i saw of dim and him back in cali that was on dims dresser. he had grey blue eyes, that were just completley mezmorizing. it was the first thing i noticed about him. is everyone from california beautiful? lols. he made me feel weak and girly just by him standing in the doorway. i fuckin hate that feeling. but i couldnt help it. "I got to run out real quick, can you hang out with chase for a while till i get back?" Dim said. " yea yea. no problem" i said almost jumping at the offer. I hope it wasnt complatley obvious that he made me nervous. "what you drinkin there?" he asked. he had a sexy voice, i thought. "uhm..jaeger." i said nodding my head. "mmm." he said smirking, as he took the bottle from my hand and poured it in a cup "im sorry, i didnt formally introduce myself. Chase." he said sticking out his hand with a cute side smile. i liked that these cali boys were total gentlemen, i wasnt used to it. i smiled and shook it. "Dawn." i replied. " well miss Dawn, hows the scene down here in Tulsa?" he asked curiously. "welp. you got ur snooty rich kids, rodeos, we got an art museum..i guess thats pretty cool if ur into that kind of stuff, you got ur down town area where alot of people hang out. gang rivelries.and lame chinese food. but. it aint all that bad. we're all real close, so we make the best of everything. its probably not as exciting as cali though. God that place sounds bitchin'." i said smiling. he laughed a little "yea its not to bad. If your into 100 degree weather and earth quakes" he said smirking. "how long u plannin on staying anyway?" i said. hoping it was a little bit longer then a week vaca. he laughed a little. "what?" i said smirking. "ur accent. its soo.. genuine. i like it." he said. "you enjoy hick accents? i dont." i said blushing, but laughing. "well, i wouldnt call it a hick accent." he said laughing. Dim walked into the room and raised an eye brow. "uhm dawn. brook said you guys have to leave now, since u have school tomorrow." dim said. "oh... well ill be seeing yall" i said and left the room. i was disapointed. i wanted to keep talking to him. i didnt know if id see him again. he was different. i liked it.
i knew two things. i did like randy. and the second thing i knew was that relationship probably could never work out..unfortunatly. After i realized this, i didnt know what to do with myself. should i talk to him? should we just be friends? or should i just ignore him? thoughts whirled around my head like a washing machine. "whisky..wheres the whisky.." i mumbled to myself as i looked under my bed and in my drawers. "looking for this?" i heard someone say from behind me. "ah-ha! u found it. thanks johns" i said reaching for the bottle, then johnny moved it quickly behind him dodging me. "uhmm." i said kind of laughing "whats up johnny? why do i get the feeling ur not ganna give me my whisky.." "oh. probably because im not." he said smiling, still hiding the bottle behind his back. "uhm. john. i dont want to do this. but if this is how its ganna be, i will seriously maul u to the ground." i said with a straight face. "Dawn listen kiddo. uve been drinking alot latley. u dont need this trust me." He said sincerely. i shot him a cold glair. "yeaaa..im ganna go find a muffin..errr somthing" he said akwardly, then dashed down the hall way with the bottle. Great, i thought. now i have nothing to help me think. "dawn?" i turned around. i took a breath to keep myself from letting my frustration out. "yes brook." "Dim and jelly are back today. everyones meeting up there tonight. plus im sure they'll have drinks there" she winked. drinks? i thought happily. "what are we waiting for?" i said smiling.
we walked on the train tracks on our way to dims. "ever wonder where these trains go?" brook said as she ballanced on the tracks. "nope." i said plainly as i lit a ciggerete. "what if one goes to california? or florida? uw or canada!" she said as her mind wandered. as she rambled on, i saw some people in the distance. I squinted hard to try and make out there faces. My heart sank when i finally did. I saw Randy and his little socs friends walking down the street, towards me and brook. i cut off brook while she was still talking "dude. look what the cat dragged in" she looked in the distance and her eyes widend. "oh god.. what do we do?" she said. "nothin'." i said walking in the same path. "lets just man up." "ugh. dawn. i dont want to "man up". im a girl!" she said whining. "brooks. just act natural." i said. Just as they were about to pass us, they stopped infront of us. i didnt even look at Randy. Just at there little group leader. "Move." The girl said coldy, pushing her brown hair off her sholder. Brook stood behind me keeping her mouth shut. "Listen. Lets not make this into a fight over a petty argument, because ur face will probably be broken if thats the case." I said giving her a cold stare. "no. you listen greaser. Ur in our way." Randy said coldy. my jaw almost fell to the floor. I hoped to hell he was just saying that because his friends were there. I shook my head slowly. i walked close to him and put my finger in his face. "You. discust me." i said quietly threw clenched teeth. He looked at me, but he didnt look like he gave a fuck. "come on brook." i said, not taking my eyes off his, still in his face. I pushed against his sholder with mine as i walked away. Me and brook didnt exchange a word for the remainder of the walk.
"hunny im home." i said as i walked in dims house, seeing everyone in the living room. Me and brook exchanged our hugs and greetings to dim and jelly, telling them how much we missed them. And just to be a dork i gave Bre a hug and told her how much i missed her, even though i had just seen her the day before xD. "so guys. where's the alcohol?" i said to whoever was listening. "kitchen" jelly said pointing. i walked over to the kitchen, even though i wanted to haul ass, because well, i really needed a drink. "perfect, jager.." i said queitly to myself as i picked up the bottle and put some in a cup. I downed it fast. I didnt feel like thinking about Randy. hes not worth confusing my brain. "hey dawn." Dim said walking into the room with a stranger, a very attractive stranger might i add. but i did remeber him from a picture i saw of dim and him back in cali that was on dims dresser. he had grey blue eyes, that were just completley mezmorizing. it was the first thing i noticed about him. is everyone from california beautiful? lols. he made me feel weak and girly just by him standing in the doorway. i fuckin hate that feeling. but i couldnt help it. "I got to run out real quick, can you hang out with chase for a while till i get back?" Dim said. " yea yea. no problem" i said almost jumping at the offer. I hope it wasnt complatley obvious that he made me nervous. "what you drinkin there?" he asked. he had a sexy voice, i thought. "uhm..jaeger." i said nodding my head. "mmm." he said smirking, as he took the bottle from my hand and poured it in a cup "im sorry, i didnt formally introduce myself. Chase." he said sticking out his hand with a cute side smile. i liked that these cali boys were total gentlemen, i wasnt used to it. i smiled and shook it. "Dawn." i replied. " well miss Dawn, hows the scene down here in Tulsa?" he asked curiously. "welp. you got ur snooty rich kids, rodeos, we got an art museum..i guess thats pretty cool if ur into that kind of stuff, you got ur down town area where alot of people hang out. gang rivelries.and lame chinese food. but. it aint all that bad. we're all real close, so we make the best of everything. its probably not as exciting as cali though. God that place sounds bitchin'." i said smiling. he laughed a little "yea its not to bad. If your into 100 degree weather and earth quakes" he said smirking. "how long u plannin on staying anyway?" i said. hoping it was a little bit longer then a week vaca. he laughed a little. "what?" i said smirking. "ur accent. its soo.. genuine. i like it." he said. "you enjoy hick accents? i dont." i said blushing, but laughing. "well, i wouldnt call it a hick accent." he said laughing. Dim walked into the room and raised an eye brow. "uhm dawn. brook said you guys have to leave now, since u have school tomorrow." dim said. "oh... well ill be seeing yall" i said and left the room. i was disapointed. i wanted to keep talking to him. i didnt know if id see him again. he was different. i liked it.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
cross my heart and hope to die
Yet another drive with Randy. and it was quiter then the last time.
it felt like that silence u get after u and ur mom get in a big fight in the car about how uve been dressing like a whore, or how she thinks ur on drugs or somthing and she doesnt aprove, that kind of akward silence. You could feel the tension.We didnt speak. we didnt look at eachother. nothing. I couldnt talk to him. not after he helped out with yet another one of sheldons little schemes even after me and him "bonded", if u will. We were back to square one and again i wanted to wring his neck. But somewere inside of me. I could forgive him. because i knew that just because we were forced to be partners on a school project doesnt change that hes a socs. and im a greaser. This social class seperation is starting to give me whip lash.
"uhh that way." i said telling him the directions, figuring i had to loosin' up so we could just finish the damn project. We pulled infront of my place. "im not sure whos here. but im hoping u wore a cup just incase." i said jokingly as we walked up to the porch. he laughed slightly nervously. "im being serious man." i said shrugging as i opend the door before he could respond. "home!" i yelled to who ever was there. I heard talking and laughing in the living room. i walked in to find about half the gang hanging out. Everyone stopped talking and looked at us. "project." i said a little fast and nervous before anyone could say anything. Dallas stood up slowly, kind of like he was ganna act on his feelings. but i grabbed randy by the arm and brought him upstairs faster than you could say pumpernickle.
"you know your ganna have to hang out with us later..right?" i said as i locked my door from my friends. never thought id see the day were i hide a head socs in my room from them. "i know. that cup is sounding pretty good right now" he said smirking. "wow..so ur room..its dark." he said looking around. "pretty much" i said admiring the black and red pattern that seemed to reoccur. okay this is me pressing the fast forward button through me and adderson's akward small talk and what not :3.
"next question. what do your parents do as an occupation?" he read off the sheet. "they get blasted. next." i said as i layed down playing with a piece of string.
"okay my Dad drinks alot as well but u have to put a-" i cut him off. "i dont have parents anymore. calling them parents is like calling pee wee herman ur average joe." i said getting a little frustrated. "well do you live with them?" he asked sounding kind of concerned. "nope. i didnt feel like getting smacked around anymore." i answered nonchalantly
"..we'll skip that one." he said, continuing the list of questions.
we were just about finished with our question sheet when someone began knocking on my door in a familiar rythm. "time to eat. you to adderson. hows everything goin in there?" it was johnny. suprinsingly acting worried. he doesnt worry about me much. he knows he doesnt have to. "uhmm..fine?" i said kind of laughing. "okay..well time to eat." he said as he walked down the hall "i could go now if you would like.." he said uncomfortably. it was funny seeing him outside of his comfort zone, he acted like a scared little orphan, i kind of enjoyed it in a way. "would u relax?" i said smiling. "now come on. it wont be that bad." as we got closer i remembered that tonightt was the night wen we had the gang over for dinner, but not all of them could make it considering it was the day before christmas eve and they had to visit family and stuff. but there was still alot of people. i just kept thinkin, this is ganna be a long night..
we stepped into the room and everyone shot randy dirty looks. "what are u doin here, prick?" Dally said stepping forward i stepped inbetween them, i knew dal wasnt going to try and crush him with his "words"."i thought we already established that me and Dawn here have a project to do, so for once in your life act like a civilized human being rather than a neanderthal." randy said proudly with his arms crossed over his chest. dallas stepped forward and i grabbed him by the shoulders trying to calm him down. "dallas take it easy okay.." i said quietly. he ignored me. " are u lookin to get ur face bashed in?" dallas said through gritted teath and angry eyes. " oh i think he is dall." jamie said smiling. "jamie dont add fuel to the fire -.-" i said shooting her a look. " oh please. you dont scare me greaser" randy said shaking his head, sizing dal up. Soon It was a comotion, with twobit and soda holding back dall as he cursed left and right, and Randy was doing the exact same back. i was yelling for Dallas to stop it while i stood in between them. there was so much yelling i dont even think either of them heard what eachother were saying, but they looked vicious like they were about to rip eachothers heads off. "QUITTEEE!!!!!" kit yelled as she banged a big pot with a spoon. " i want to kill him as much as the next guy but can we PUHLEASE eat dinner already?" Dal didnt look like he was ready to cooperate. he continued giving randy a look of disgust. but atleast everything had calmed down and the yelling stopped. "come on dal.." soda said. after a few seconds of intense staring dallas turned and walked away to the table. i exhaled, and turned to face randy "you dont have to eat here if u dont want.." i said quietly "yea. really. u dont have to stick around." brook said with a dirty look. "oh shut it brooklyn why dont you mind your own buissness." randy said with an equally nasty look. "Dawn control ur spoiled rich kid please." brook said with her arms crossed. "come on.." i said. bringing randy to my room. i was mad. i was mad at everyone. i was mad at dallas. randy. everyone. they didnt even have to aknoledge eachother. it was unessasary to fight like that, and its causing me to get a shit grade on my project because they couldnt control themselves. we got up to my room. "what are you doing?" randy said as i looked in my top drawer. i pulled out my lighter and a pack of newports. "want one?" i said already having the ciggerette in my mouth, about to light it. he hesitated, then took a ciggerete. "why not." he said smirking. "sorry about that." i said, throwing him the lighter. "my friends are just mad about wats been goin on with bob and shit. cant say im to happy about it either." "dont apologize. it wasnt your fault..sometimes i just want to end it. what does money have to do with anything? sometimes i want us to all just be equal..but its not that simple.." he said then taking a long drag from the ciggerette. "you dont have to be like the rest of them ya know" i said. "i kinda do. its how i was raised, how i was taught. its not fair" he said looking really consentrated. there was silence for a moment. just the sound of us inhaling and blowing out the cigarette smoke. "you know. your not to bad adderson." i said. "but you know were ganna have to go back to hating eachother tomorrow after this is over...and i have to be honest i kind of enjoyed hanging out with you" "..yea me to" we kind of just looked in eachothers eyes for a moment. he was such a good looking kid. to bad he had to be friends with those jerks, i thought. he started moving closer to me. and i started getting confused. he put his hands slowly around my waist grabbing my hips with his cold hands, he moved my hair from my shoulder, pulled me closer and started kissing my neck. "uhmmm...wat are u doing?" i said putting my hands on his, moving them away from my hips. "relax.." he said moving his hands back were they were and slowly moving his lips to mine. he tasted like mint and ciggeretes, my favorite. my eyes started closing slowly.. It took me a few seconds of really good kissing to come back to reality. "woah woah woah. this cannot happen" i said pulling myself back away from randy."whats the problem?" he said looking at me confused. "whats the problem?..whats the problem?! the problem is that idk u have a gf? ur a socs? idk randy u do the math." i yelled as i crossed my arms and gave him that pissed off/upset look. i heard a knock on the door. "uhh is everything okay in there?" james said through the door. she must have heard the yelling. "uhh yea. yea..ill be out in a minute james." i said probably sounding unsure. "if you say so.." jamie said as i head her walk down the hall. i knew she didnt believe me. shes to smart. "i think its best if you go.." i said looking at him. he just looked at me confused for a moment with hard eyes "...alright..."he walked out of my room and i shut the door. i went back into my top drawer and got out my whisky and took a few sips to clear my head, and get the taste of him out of my mouth. why would he want to kiss me, a greaser from the gang that he fights with the most out of all greaser gangs? i kept trying to figure it out but i couldnt. i didnt get it. just two weeks ago we hated eachother. i wasnt mad. because it would be a lie to say i didnt want to kiss him to. i was just confused.
it felt like that silence u get after u and ur mom get in a big fight in the car about how uve been dressing like a whore, or how she thinks ur on drugs or somthing and she doesnt aprove, that kind of akward silence. You could feel the tension.We didnt speak. we didnt look at eachother. nothing. I couldnt talk to him. not after he helped out with yet another one of sheldons little schemes even after me and him "bonded", if u will. We were back to square one and again i wanted to wring his neck. But somewere inside of me. I could forgive him. because i knew that just because we were forced to be partners on a school project doesnt change that hes a socs. and im a greaser. This social class seperation is starting to give me whip lash.
"uhh that way." i said telling him the directions, figuring i had to loosin' up so we could just finish the damn project. We pulled infront of my place. "im not sure whos here. but im hoping u wore a cup just incase." i said jokingly as we walked up to the porch. he laughed slightly nervously. "im being serious man." i said shrugging as i opend the door before he could respond. "home!" i yelled to who ever was there. I heard talking and laughing in the living room. i walked in to find about half the gang hanging out. Everyone stopped talking and looked at us. "project." i said a little fast and nervous before anyone could say anything. Dallas stood up slowly, kind of like he was ganna act on his feelings. but i grabbed randy by the arm and brought him upstairs faster than you could say pumpernickle.
"you know your ganna have to hang out with us later..right?" i said as i locked my door from my friends. never thought id see the day were i hide a head socs in my room from them. "i know. that cup is sounding pretty good right now" he said smirking. "wow..so ur room..its dark." he said looking around. "pretty much" i said admiring the black and red pattern that seemed to reoccur. okay this is me pressing the fast forward button through me and adderson's akward small talk and what not :3.
"next question. what do your parents do as an occupation?" he read off the sheet. "they get blasted. next." i said as i layed down playing with a piece of string.
"okay my Dad drinks alot as well but u have to put a-" i cut him off. "i dont have parents anymore. calling them parents is like calling pee wee herman ur average joe." i said getting a little frustrated. "well do you live with them?" he asked sounding kind of concerned. "nope. i didnt feel like getting smacked around anymore." i answered nonchalantly
"..we'll skip that one." he said, continuing the list of questions.
we were just about finished with our question sheet when someone began knocking on my door in a familiar rythm. "time to eat. you to adderson. hows everything goin in there?" it was johnny. suprinsingly acting worried. he doesnt worry about me much. he knows he doesnt have to. "uhmm..fine?" i said kind of laughing. "okay..well time to eat." he said as he walked down the hall "i could go now if you would like.." he said uncomfortably. it was funny seeing him outside of his comfort zone, he acted like a scared little orphan, i kind of enjoyed it in a way. "would u relax?" i said smiling. "now come on. it wont be that bad." as we got closer i remembered that tonightt was the night wen we had the gang over for dinner, but not all of them could make it considering it was the day before christmas eve and they had to visit family and stuff. but there was still alot of people. i just kept thinkin, this is ganna be a long night..
we stepped into the room and everyone shot randy dirty looks. "what are u doin here, prick?" Dally said stepping forward i stepped inbetween them, i knew dal wasnt going to try and crush him with his "words"."i thought we already established that me and Dawn here have a project to do, so for once in your life act like a civilized human being rather than a neanderthal." randy said proudly with his arms crossed over his chest. dallas stepped forward and i grabbed him by the shoulders trying to calm him down. "dallas take it easy okay.." i said quietly. he ignored me. " are u lookin to get ur face bashed in?" dallas said through gritted teath and angry eyes. " oh i think he is dall." jamie said smiling. "jamie dont add fuel to the fire -.-" i said shooting her a look. " oh please. you dont scare me greaser" randy said shaking his head, sizing dal up. Soon It was a comotion, with twobit and soda holding back dall as he cursed left and right, and Randy was doing the exact same back. i was yelling for Dallas to stop it while i stood in between them. there was so much yelling i dont even think either of them heard what eachother were saying, but they looked vicious like they were about to rip eachothers heads off. "QUITTEEE!!!!!" kit yelled as she banged a big pot with a spoon. " i want to kill him as much as the next guy but can we PUHLEASE eat dinner already?" Dal didnt look like he was ready to cooperate. he continued giving randy a look of disgust. but atleast everything had calmed down and the yelling stopped. "come on dal.." soda said. after a few seconds of intense staring dallas turned and walked away to the table. i exhaled, and turned to face randy "you dont have to eat here if u dont want.." i said quietly "yea. really. u dont have to stick around." brook said with a dirty look. "oh shut it brooklyn why dont you mind your own buissness." randy said with an equally nasty look. "Dawn control ur spoiled rich kid please." brook said with her arms crossed. "come on.." i said. bringing randy to my room. i was mad. i was mad at everyone. i was mad at dallas. randy. everyone. they didnt even have to aknoledge eachother. it was unessasary to fight like that, and its causing me to get a shit grade on my project because they couldnt control themselves. we got up to my room. "what are you doing?" randy said as i looked in my top drawer. i pulled out my lighter and a pack of newports. "want one?" i said already having the ciggerette in my mouth, about to light it. he hesitated, then took a ciggerete. "why not." he said smirking. "sorry about that." i said, throwing him the lighter. "my friends are just mad about wats been goin on with bob and shit. cant say im to happy about it either." "dont apologize. it wasnt your fault..sometimes i just want to end it. what does money have to do with anything? sometimes i want us to all just be equal..but its not that simple.." he said then taking a long drag from the ciggerette. "you dont have to be like the rest of them ya know" i said. "i kinda do. its how i was raised, how i was taught. its not fair" he said looking really consentrated. there was silence for a moment. just the sound of us inhaling and blowing out the cigarette smoke. "you know. your not to bad adderson." i said. "but you know were ganna have to go back to hating eachother tomorrow after this is over...and i have to be honest i kind of enjoyed hanging out with you" "..yea me to" we kind of just looked in eachothers eyes for a moment. he was such a good looking kid. to bad he had to be friends with those jerks, i thought. he started moving closer to me. and i started getting confused. he put his hands slowly around my waist grabbing my hips with his cold hands, he moved my hair from my shoulder, pulled me closer and started kissing my neck. "uhmmm...wat are u doing?" i said putting my hands on his, moving them away from my hips. "relax.." he said moving his hands back were they were and slowly moving his lips to mine. he tasted like mint and ciggeretes, my favorite. my eyes started closing slowly.. It took me a few seconds of really good kissing to come back to reality. "woah woah woah. this cannot happen" i said pulling myself back away from randy."whats the problem?" he said looking at me confused. "whats the problem?..whats the problem?! the problem is that idk u have a gf? ur a socs? idk randy u do the math." i yelled as i crossed my arms and gave him that pissed off/upset look. i heard a knock on the door. "uhh is everything okay in there?" james said through the door. she must have heard the yelling. "uhh yea. yea..ill be out in a minute james." i said probably sounding unsure. "if you say so.." jamie said as i head her walk down the hall. i knew she didnt believe me. shes to smart. "i think its best if you go.." i said looking at him. he just looked at me confused for a moment with hard eyes "...alright..."he walked out of my room and i shut the door. i went back into my top drawer and got out my whisky and took a few sips to clear my head, and get the taste of him out of my mouth. why would he want to kiss me, a greaser from the gang that he fights with the most out of all greaser gangs? i kept trying to figure it out but i couldnt. i didnt get it. just two weeks ago we hated eachother. i wasnt mad. because it would be a lie to say i didnt want to kiss him to. i was just confused.
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