glitter in the air pt 1

loosing hope feels like shit.
ive came to the conclusion that Bob Sheldon is the antichrist. if his goal is to knock us down, when were not to high up to begin with... like kicking a sick puppy. I give up. you win sheldon. tare me down all you want. i just dont care.
It hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns latley. moneys been kind of tight for us, bob's been rubbin me the wrong way, and i dont know. everything just kind of sucks. not trying to sound like a moody bitch or nothin..
i feel alone. i know your all thier, i know you care, and i know you would help me with anything. no offense you guys..but even when you are thier, i still feel alone. i dont know how to explain it. thier must be somthing wrong with me i guess :/. ahh well. ill deal. i guess..
it was around 10 30 pm ish. rainy,kind of cold,and crappy out. i had on my sweatshirt with the hood pulled over my head, with my old jeans and converse. I walked on the curb trying to balance. like we did when we were kids. wandering helped. just me and my mind. i ended up at the park. i sat on the wet swings. thinking about things i could change for myself, and the things i cant change. "look at you, all alone in the rain huh cade?" i looked up slightly. my favorite people standing in front of me -.-. nothing but a couple of socs to top off the fucking day. "whats wrong? run out of vodka?" he laughed. so did they. i just stared at him, still on the swings. i knew i wasnt going to do anything. i couldnt. i felt frozen and to crappy to help myself. and i knew you could see it on my face. but they dont care, they like our missery. I stood up. looking up at the one who did all the talking. he looked confused or troubled for a split second. like somthing was bothering him. maybe because he felt wat i was feeling for just that split second. "come on dalton! do somthin!" his friends said behind him. he smiled an evil one. and within a second he had me pressed against a tree, grabbing my throat. i had my eyes shut, pulling back tears. i didnt want to satisfy him and let him know i was terrified. i opend my eyes. and again, i saw that look on his face. his friends were standing a good 10 ft behind us, grining. he looked behind at them. still holding a tight grip on my throat. "do somthing. you got what you wanted socs. im not fighting back. i wont feel it. im already numb." i said wispering in a shaky voice. still holding back tears.
and he loosind his grip, and let go. he just kept staring at me with that look of confusion and curiosness. "come on man whatr ya doin?" they looked at him like he was crazy. but they were behind him so he didnt see. he whisperd in my ear..
 "mental pain can hurt alot more then physical. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict. and you've got enough of it.. get better kid." he walked away. his four friends were shocked, even though they didnt hear what was sed.  i heard them asking him questions about why he did nothing. and he kept quite. and just got into the car with them. i slid down the tree and sat on the wet ground confused and shocked with my jaw practically on the floor. the blue mustang started up, and drove away. i watched it disapear into the darkness. i just sat and thought motionless. maybe not all of the socs are emotionless monsters...
I checked my phone and it was 11 30. i got up and dusted off my pants. and walked home. "hey sis" brook said sitting next to austin on our couch. "hey" i said with a small smile. "hey you okay?" austin asked.
"yeah...
 im fine."