Black hair is tasty cool ;D.
"why should i play by the rules? i didnt know i was playing any sort of game."
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
TO ALL MY LOVING LITTLE MUCHACHOS. the reason dawn has not been on to post or go on the chat is because my computer, unfortunatley exploded D:. and I aint gettin a new one for A long time :(. say,how is dawn on the internet now, u ask? Well this is because my computer is like. half broken, and the piece of shit teases me and stays on fer like a limit of 15 minutes, then turns off D:. i miss u guys a hole lots D:... BUT. on the magical side, I can use my ipod!..wen dawn finds the charger D:. until then my loves <3, D dawg
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I got up this morning feeling half delusional. i had slept all day the before, from 4:30pm , to 6:00 in the morning today, and I was rudley awoken to loud traffic, lighting, an annoying alarmclock, and a grey, rainy sky. Hell, i was so out of it, that i didnt even remember what day of the week it was. But then, i reached over to my phone, and had a slight feeling of discust, it was thursday. but it was ok because i rememberd me and shyler were hanging out today, the first time since i got back into town! I loved hanging out with shy, because we always had some kind of dangerous fun, which was my kinda fun ;). But i knew i was forced to go to the torcher chamber (school), first. I was tempted to reach over to my phone and see if anyone was up for playin' hookie today, but i decided it was a smart idea for me just to drag myself to school and get it over with, since my grades are slackin' pretty bad, and besides, were the hell was i gana go in this storm? So, i rolled out of bed, ( literally, right on to the cold wooden floor),and got ready for school. Brook was up. She was always so talkative and cheery in the morning, and frankly, it made me want to shoot myself, who wants to talk at 6:00 in the morning? idk bout yall? but im like satan in the morning lol. Any who, i left the house without sayin' a word of it. i was usually the first one to leave in the morning, but the last one home at night. Long boring story short, i got to school. almost died of boredum. got home. and called shyler. "hey. we still on for later?" i asked as i made myself some wierd sandwitch concocsion. "uuhhh..yeah, yeah, sure. but i gotta little buisness to take care of, that cool?" I was debating weather it was cool or not. I hated watching him fight. It scared the hell out of me. He looked so dangerous when he fought. He didnt care weather he put the kid in the hospital or not, when he fought. he went all out. It just freeked me out. seeing how harmful he could be. "yeah. its cool. no knives right?" hoping it was just a fist fight. When he used knives it scared me even more. "yeah no knives. just a clean fight." he said with no worry in his voice but he sounded sort of disapointed. He must really hate this kid if he wanted a knife fight. Even he knows they can be dangerous. "who u fightin'?" i asked. "yankel Bush." he said with evil and excitment in his voice. Yankel Bush. Aka Yankie. he was cold hearted and mean, he didnt have friends. just followers. he was best known for drugs and drug dealing, always drinking or having alchohol, and especially, for fighting dirty. He fights people for kicks, and trys to take on the best fighters in town. Even if he never had no problems wat so ever with a person, he particularly fights kids with bad ass reps, and basically fights to add to his own reputation. Shyler gladly fights anyone who wants to take him on, just for fun to see who can beat who, but he never wants to actually start a fight with someone unless he has a problem with them. So maybe he didnt hate yankie, he was just a worthy oponent. I didnt like the fact that he was fighting yankie, he aint a fair fighter from what i ever heard, i heard he pulls knives weather its clean or not. but i knew i shouldnt waste my breathe. shy wasnt about to bak out of a fight. but of course i put my two sence in anyway. "hes a dirty fighter..." i sed with worry in my voice. "ha." he merely laughed at wat i sed.."i can take um. and besides, im gna hav a lota people thier to bak me up if he tries anything."he sounded so sure of himself. but his being sure wasnt reassuring me at all. I was still pretty worried. But i still couldnt wait to hang out, why should i worry? shy was always ok, no matter the situation. but now i kno better...
I went to my friend kelly's house, because we were going to the drive in together. to go meet up with shy and alot of people. after debating. i just decicided i didnt want to watch the fight,id just leave wen he sed he was gna go fight.. why should i be thier? he can handle himself. We got ready to go at her house. and something in me decided i wanted to look really cute today :D. usually i dont care as much. were as il just put on jeans a cute shirt and mascara. but instead, i did my hair and put on eyeliner and all that other girly junk. i felt a little uncomfortable. i mean i do get all girly sometimes. but i think this was as girly as i could get. i was wearing a skirt and flats and kelly curled my hair. i felt out of place :/. but watever. we left her house and made our way to the drive in. we met up with shy and his hole bad ass possy. I loved them all, because they were as reckless as they come XD. Blah..lacey was thier..shylers X girlfriend. actually, idk wat thier supposed to be. thier relationship confuses the hell out of me. She came over to shy and was hanging all over him. i hated her. She had real long blonde hair, with porcilen skin and blue eyes. sort of like a china doll. but i wasnt jelous of her. i just flat out thought she was a hoe. they werent dating anymore but she still always wanted to get with him...or just wanted to do stuff with him.im not sure witch one. but i think it was the second one. We had fun foolin around messin with socs, throwin stuf at people, talking loud during the movie and allmost getting kicked out, and finding beer from someone. We almost got busted for underaged drinking. but shy was the only one who was drinking at the time, so when the guy asked him were his ID was and he was all "uhhhh. i dropped it." it made me laugh. but that cop was a dumb ass. and let shy "go look for it" i think the cop was either being nice, or he was just a little wasted himself. im not sure. but the cop stood thier waiting and we all just kinda slipt away and went to go find shy. he was talking to some people all the way on the other side of the drive in. we all gathered around shy and the other people he was talking to. "hell yeah, il fight him right now. were the hell is he?" shyler sed kinda angry but steady. "um alright. hes right outside the drive in, he says he aint tryin to get kicked out in the middle of the fight, he says he wants to finish it." the other guy sed to shy. "yeah yeah watevr, we'll see whose finishing who." he always sounded cocky wen it came to fights. Alota people started following shy out the drive in, cept maybe 10 people,including me. but shy turned around. "dawn u aint comin'?" he said kind of surprised, since i usually go to his fights. "nnah. not this time shy." i said looking directly at him. "watever." he sed kind of mad. he turned away, and walked off with his 25 people following him, but still looking so independent. ...i should hav been one of those people...now, i know better...
I felt like getting wasted should be on the agenda tonight. But everyone else i was with was bein all fruity and sed that they didnt feel like it. so we watched a movie. it was stupid. had alot of making out and stuff. like i didnt come here to watch this movie, to see two middle aged people making out. like wat do u think im some sort of sick-o? The movie dragged on and i just got up and left. i went to go find someone else who wanted to get drunk with me. Then i saw Shylers brother. He had blood on him. and blood made me nautious and made me want to pass out. he was running towards me. as he got closer, i looked him over. no cuts. it wasnt his blood. His facial expression was scaring the crap out of me. he always looked so happy. never upset, never scared. But his face. he looked completley frightened, and he looked like he was about to cry. i tried to talk, "whats?!-" he stopped me. "shyler! yankie pulled a knife out of no were! his side! hes bleeding like crazy and it wont stop! Everyone tried to jump in but it was to late! Yankie left! he was drunk!" he was yelling at me, and wasnt taking any breaths, or making much sense, he couldnt control himself, he was shaking like crazy and had tears in his eyes. I felt myself wanting to throw up that very second. but i couldnt. not now. I wanted to cry. but i couldnt do that either.....not now. i didnt want to panic like his brother was, i needed to stay ok for the both of us. i just wanted to do so many things at once, cry, curse, throw up, scream, get help. I ran over as fast as i could. All i saw was a bunch of people in a circle some people calling the ambulance, and some peopl crying and freaking out.I pushed people out of the way and saw shy. i got completley sick to my stomach. he was on the ground.his friend was holding him uder his arms crying and cursing quitley, and another kid had his shirt off pushing on the huge cut on shys side with it, to stop the bleeding, but it wasnt doing much. Shylers eyes were rolling back, he was loosing so much blood. thier was blood everywere. I never seen him look so helpless. His cut was atleast a foot long.I knew shyler shouldnt have fought him. But i didnt stop him. I kneeled down. "shyler! wat happend! talk to me..please talk!, shyler say something please!" I was yelling at him, like he would have said something back. I kept telling him to answer me and he didnt. I was cursing like crazy. "dammit shyler..dammit. why do u get urself into these god damn messes huh?.....god fucking dammit." i wispered closing my eyes tight so i didnt start balling. sure enough the ambulance came and rushed him straight to the hospital. his brother went with him thier. everyone else was still flipping out and shaking and everything. I went to the corner and threw up. I was shaking like crazy and I didnt want to talk to anybody. I knew these people would talk non stop the next day at school. I knew they would hav it in thier mouths all day, wat happend, who would have won the fight, they would have asked me questions about shyler, wat i did wen i saw him get stabbed. but i wasnt thier..and i should have been. but now i kno better.....
I went home at about 12. Brook asked me wats wrong. but i didnt say a word. I kept the same expression, and locked myself in my room. I couldnt sleep. I was only thinking about if my best friend was ok..thier was so much blood everywere. people cant hav that much more then that... his cut was pretty big. I shook my head and tried to think possitive. but i still got no sleep because i felt sick. completley discusted and i felt like i was going to die. I didnt want to go to school on friday. that was the last place i wanted to be. i didnt want to talk about it. i didnt want to think about it. i didnt even want to here the name "shyler" come out of anybodys mouth. but i knew i couldnt avoid it. i left in the morning, again, saying nothing. People in the halls were whispering when they looked at me. I just gave them a look of discust. People were coming up to me all day asking me "what happend?" Who won?" what did he do when he pulled out the knife?" i ignored them completley. and just walked away from them and thier stupid questions.They knew damn well they could have figured out wat happend from 100 other people. but they wanted to ask me cuz they figured i would have the most dirt on the subject. low lives. I was in first period finally, after walking threw the halls of hell, getting talked about and asked questions i didnt want to answer. i was never so thankful to be in class in my life. It was 15 minutes into the period, and i couldnt consentrate. At all. i had to read from the book out loud and i couldnt do it. i stutered, tripped over words, and i was feeling nautious again. "and the uhmm................. average..velocity" i stopped. "um can i go to the nurse..i dont feel so good." i said, my voice sounded really shakey. And i hated how everyone knew why. " here let me write u a pass." she said. I felt more and more nautious and decided forget the pass, i m gana throw up. so i ran out of the class room before i got the pass and since my class is right by the front door, i threw up as soon as i got outside. I was so relieved that i didnt throw up in front of the class, and i beat it out of thier just in time. Instead of going back to class..i went home. I just wasnt up for school. I got a phone call on my cell wen i walked in the door. it was shylers brother. he told me that shy lost alot of blood. and they dont know if hell be "okay". I hung up straight away. wat did he mean shy might not be okay, he was wrong. so were the doctors. shyler was always okay. no matter what. he made it threw so much. he always did. The doctors didnt no wat they were talking about.......but i knew i didnt believe myself, they knew better then i did...... I felt something wierd coming over me. my body got all hot and i felt nautious again. i went in my room. I felt dizzy. i didnt want this anymore, why did that have to happen to him. i felt like dying. it was driving me insane.i was almost going to pass out. but i shook it off. i couldnt take this anymore. for the first time in 9 years i slid down the wall i was leaning against for balance so i didnt pass out, to the bottom and crouched in the corner of my room wall, and cried like crazy. I just cried myself to sleep in the corner of my dark room. And wished this would go away...but it couldnt just go away. as i slowly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, then rain began again, and it was pooring just like on thursday morning..
I went to my friend kelly's house, because we were going to the drive in together. to go meet up with shy and alot of people. after debating. i just decicided i didnt want to watch the fight,id just leave wen he sed he was gna go fight.. why should i be thier? he can handle himself. We got ready to go at her house. and something in me decided i wanted to look really cute today :D. usually i dont care as much. were as il just put on jeans a cute shirt and mascara. but instead, i did my hair and put on eyeliner and all that other girly junk. i felt a little uncomfortable. i mean i do get all girly sometimes. but i think this was as girly as i could get. i was wearing a skirt and flats and kelly curled my hair. i felt out of place :/. but watever. we left her house and made our way to the drive in. we met up with shy and his hole bad ass possy. I loved them all, because they were as reckless as they come XD. Blah..lacey was thier..shylers X girlfriend. actually, idk wat thier supposed to be. thier relationship confuses the hell out of me. She came over to shy and was hanging all over him. i hated her. She had real long blonde hair, with porcilen skin and blue eyes. sort of like a china doll. but i wasnt jelous of her. i just flat out thought she was a hoe. they werent dating anymore but she still always wanted to get with him...or just wanted to do stuff with him.im not sure witch one. but i think it was the second one. We had fun foolin around messin with socs, throwin stuf at people, talking loud during the movie and allmost getting kicked out, and finding beer from someone. We almost got busted for underaged drinking. but shy was the only one who was drinking at the time, so when the guy asked him were his ID was and he was all "uhhhh. i dropped it." it made me laugh. but that cop was a dumb ass. and let shy "go look for it" i think the cop was either being nice, or he was just a little wasted himself. im not sure. but the cop stood thier waiting and we all just kinda slipt away and went to go find shy. he was talking to some people all the way on the other side of the drive in. we all gathered around shy and the other people he was talking to. "hell yeah, il fight him right now. were the hell is he?" shyler sed kinda angry but steady. "um alright. hes right outside the drive in, he says he aint tryin to get kicked out in the middle of the fight, he says he wants to finish it." the other guy sed to shy. "yeah yeah watevr, we'll see whose finishing who." he always sounded cocky wen it came to fights. Alota people started following shy out the drive in, cept maybe 10 people,including me. but shy turned around. "dawn u aint comin'?" he said kind of surprised, since i usually go to his fights. "nnah. not this time shy." i said looking directly at him. "watever." he sed kind of mad. he turned away, and walked off with his 25 people following him, but still looking so independent. ...i should hav been one of those people...now, i know better...
I felt like getting wasted should be on the agenda tonight. But everyone else i was with was bein all fruity and sed that they didnt feel like it. so we watched a movie. it was stupid. had alot of making out and stuff. like i didnt come here to watch this movie, to see two middle aged people making out. like wat do u think im some sort of sick-o? The movie dragged on and i just got up and left. i went to go find someone else who wanted to get drunk with me. Then i saw Shylers brother. He had blood on him. and blood made me nautious and made me want to pass out. he was running towards me. as he got closer, i looked him over. no cuts. it wasnt his blood. His facial expression was scaring the crap out of me. he always looked so happy. never upset, never scared. But his face. he looked completley frightened, and he looked like he was about to cry. i tried to talk, "whats?!-" he stopped me. "shyler! yankie pulled a knife out of no were! his side! hes bleeding like crazy and it wont stop! Everyone tried to jump in but it was to late! Yankie left! he was drunk!" he was yelling at me, and wasnt taking any breaths, or making much sense, he couldnt control himself, he was shaking like crazy and had tears in his eyes. I felt myself wanting to throw up that very second. but i couldnt. not now. I wanted to cry. but i couldnt do that either.....not now. i didnt want to panic like his brother was, i needed to stay ok for the both of us. i just wanted to do so many things at once, cry, curse, throw up, scream, get help. I ran over as fast as i could. All i saw was a bunch of people in a circle some people calling the ambulance, and some peopl crying and freaking out.I pushed people out of the way and saw shy. i got completley sick to my stomach. he was on the ground.his friend was holding him uder his arms crying and cursing quitley, and another kid had his shirt off pushing on the huge cut on shys side with it, to stop the bleeding, but it wasnt doing much. Shylers eyes were rolling back, he was loosing so much blood. thier was blood everywere. I never seen him look so helpless. His cut was atleast a foot long.I knew shyler shouldnt have fought him. But i didnt stop him. I kneeled down. "shyler! wat happend! talk to me..please talk!, shyler say something please!" I was yelling at him, like he would have said something back. I kept telling him to answer me and he didnt. I was cursing like crazy. "dammit shyler..dammit. why do u get urself into these god damn messes huh?.....god fucking dammit." i wispered closing my eyes tight so i didnt start balling. sure enough the ambulance came and rushed him straight to the hospital. his brother went with him thier. everyone else was still flipping out and shaking and everything. I went to the corner and threw up. I was shaking like crazy and I didnt want to talk to anybody. I knew these people would talk non stop the next day at school. I knew they would hav it in thier mouths all day, wat happend, who would have won the fight, they would have asked me questions about shyler, wat i did wen i saw him get stabbed. but i wasnt thier..and i should have been. but now i kno better.....
I went home at about 12. Brook asked me wats wrong. but i didnt say a word. I kept the same expression, and locked myself in my room. I couldnt sleep. I was only thinking about if my best friend was ok..thier was so much blood everywere. people cant hav that much more then that... his cut was pretty big. I shook my head and tried to think possitive. but i still got no sleep because i felt sick. completley discusted and i felt like i was going to die. I didnt want to go to school on friday. that was the last place i wanted to be. i didnt want to talk about it. i didnt want to think about it. i didnt even want to here the name "shyler" come out of anybodys mouth. but i knew i couldnt avoid it. i left in the morning, again, saying nothing. People in the halls were whispering when they looked at me. I just gave them a look of discust. People were coming up to me all day asking me "what happend?" Who won?" what did he do when he pulled out the knife?" i ignored them completley. and just walked away from them and thier stupid questions.They knew damn well they could have figured out wat happend from 100 other people. but they wanted to ask me cuz they figured i would have the most dirt on the subject. low lives. I was in first period finally, after walking threw the halls of hell, getting talked about and asked questions i didnt want to answer. i was never so thankful to be in class in my life. It was 15 minutes into the period, and i couldnt consentrate. At all. i had to read from the book out loud and i couldnt do it. i stutered, tripped over words, and i was feeling nautious again. "and the uhmm................. average..velocity" i stopped. "um can i go to the nurse..i dont feel so good." i said, my voice sounded really shakey. And i hated how everyone knew why. " here let me write u a pass." she said. I felt more and more nautious and decided forget the pass, i m gana throw up. so i ran out of the class room before i got the pass and since my class is right by the front door, i threw up as soon as i got outside. I was so relieved that i didnt throw up in front of the class, and i beat it out of thier just in time. Instead of going back to class..i went home. I just wasnt up for school. I got a phone call on my cell wen i walked in the door. it was shylers brother. he told me that shy lost alot of blood. and they dont know if hell be "okay". I hung up straight away. wat did he mean shy might not be okay, he was wrong. so were the doctors. shyler was always okay. no matter what. he made it threw so much. he always did. The doctors didnt no wat they were talking about.......but i knew i didnt believe myself, they knew better then i did...... I felt something wierd coming over me. my body got all hot and i felt nautious again. i went in my room. I felt dizzy. i didnt want this anymore, why did that have to happen to him. i felt like dying. it was driving me insane.i was almost going to pass out. but i shook it off. i couldnt take this anymore. for the first time in 9 years i slid down the wall i was leaning against for balance so i didnt pass out, to the bottom and crouched in the corner of my room wall, and cried like crazy. I just cried myself to sleep in the corner of my dark room. And wished this would go away...but it couldnt just go away. as i slowly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, then rain began again, and it was pooring just like on thursday morning..
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Padre island
i think padre means father in spanish. father island? thats a little odd D:. anyway IT IS AMAZING HERE. simply the most beautiful place IVE ever seen. The best part so far was the ocean. Im at the beach from 8 o clock to 6:00 o clock at night every day so far, and im trying to talk evie into sleeping on the beach, but she says it gets cold at night D:. but me and evie are going club hoppin tonight XD. i cant wait. Uww!! and were gna swim with dolphins. i cant wait. I love me some bottle nosed dolphins ^-^. We already met some friends ^-^. thier really nice and hav silly little texas accents. its kinda great. I love this place and wish i lived here...but im getting home sick already :(. I miss you guys, but il b home in 6 days or so. Me and evie got a pretty mean tan. were lookin pretty spiffy. lol. We took soooooo many pictures to. But thiers still so many things on my list that we need to accomplish while were here. Like, swimming with dolphins, getting me one of those fancy cow boy hats, going in the ocean so far that we cant touch the bottom, attempting surfing, talking to some native texians and using the word yall every other word, square dancing, writing in the sand, looking for shells,and much more :D.Yall need to come here sometime. I kno you'd love it. its just one word. Amazing.
Me and evie :).
lmao yea, thats real attravtive..ha. we both look like idiots XD
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Dawn is slackin'.
im gna post bout everything thats going on :D. since i havent really latley.
ok so..
2.I got kitty to come bak to tulsa soon. yay :'). i get my best friend bak :}!!!!
3.Me and shy got in cop trouble the other day...long story short. we were at a big party. and we all got introuble for "posession of drugs" even though i didnt touch any. and "underaged drinking"...now that i cant denie. but luckily, out of my 16 years. for once this cop wasnt an ass, and he let us all off with a call to our parents. lol brook just answered the phone and pretended she was my mom :). thannks sis!
4.Shy (jamies X bf) and jamie went on a um..idk wat to call it...im gna say date :). even though u guys may not think so, but in dawns mind. thats wat is is :p. u better post about it!!! u better tell me everything.
5. brook found a brand new dog since she had to giv him away the other one(cali) and she got a new one!! its nname is frankie! (but its really nnamed bucket in my mind)
thats about it :D! thier. im caught up now ^-^.
p.s. comment or il b upset with u :(.
WERE ME AND EVIE ARE GOING! ISNT IT BEAUTIFUL :}!!
Padre island, Texas :)!!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
their, 80 reasons.
80 Reasons why kitkat is my best friend, and the reasons she needs to stay in Tulsa. and the things il miss if she doesnt..
1. your my best friend.
2. your have so many people who care here.
3. your familys here.
4. where are u gna go?
5. so u can keep me out of trouble.
6. because this is your home, and you were raised here.
7. youll make new friends.
8. u might start hanging out with the wrong crowd.
9. youll forget about us.
10. alot of people will start leaving.
11. the gang will fall apart.
12. the gang needs you.
13. the gang will replace u. and i dont kno wat i would do.
14. who will i hang out with...
15. who will make sure your safe?
16. what if something happens, and i cant be thier for you.
17. ill need a new best friend.
18. who will burn my popcorn for me?
19. you make me laugh till i want to pee myself.
20. your wierd as hell, just like me :).
21. who will i watch girly movies with?!, not with the guys D:..
22. i can talk to you about anything.
23. you can talk to me about anything.
24. your always thier for me.
25. im always thier for you.
26. wen im feeling the worst, u make me feel better.
27. when YOUR feeling the worst, i try my best to make u feel better, who will do that for u :{.
28. the way you sing corny songs
29. the way u embarass me by acting like an idiot :).
30. the way I embarrass u by acting like an idiot.(who else could embarass u like me?!)
31. how wen im being a bitch, u try and help me anyway.
32. the crazy things we do together, the things we couldnt do with anyone else.
33. how u hardly ever get mad at me.
34. how we aaaaaaalways get eachother.
35. how u always forgive me...when no one usually does.
36. how we tell eachother everything.
37. how u can practically read my mind, and i can read urs.
38. we always get eachothers jokes, wen no one else does.
39. the way we finish eachothers sentences.
40. all of our inside jokes, that no one else would get.
41. The way we never give up on eachother
42. The things that only ME nd YOU could do for fun, that other people would think is wierd.
43. the way you hit soda with ur spoon :).
44. Your my other half.
45. Your laugh is contagious :).
46. Your so smart, and im not. i need ur smarts :3.
47. I love how you would do anything to make me happy..when not many people would.
48. I would do anything to make you happy.
49. Who would protect me? D:.
50. How you understand why i do things.
51. how i understand why you do things.
52. I love how strong and independnt you are.
53. no one can replace you :(.
54. youll forget about when we were best friends :(
55. youll forget about when we were kids :(, and move on.
56. youll make a new best friend.
57. the way you push me to try hard in school, when no one else cares.
58. how we can have hour long conversations about the stupidest stuff.
59. how were always honest with eachother
60. the times we spend together shopping, seeing movies, just hanging out, are always fun.
61. how hyper and retarted we get together.
62. how if i dont want to be home, u always let me stay at ur house (and vise versa)
63. il miss your crazy ness
64. The way u refuse to completley grow up.
65.our crazy voices, sounds, and imitations that we always do together.
66.How you are always concerned about me, and im always concerned about you.
67. Your always good at everything, when im not.
68. il miss the places we go together D:.
69. ur my first best friend. and i dont no how to make a new one like u:(
70. how we are risk takers together.
71. how you always no what to say when we get in cop trouble.
72. how you always comfort me (vise versa)
73. Il loose part of my family.
74. you'll ruin my streak of not crying for 9 years.
75. how we always finish eachothers sentences.
76. we always think the same guys are cute.
77. how i can never stay mad at you.
78. the way you always listen to me
79. the way i always listen to you.
80. That i love you and if you leave...i dont know what would happen to me or you.
1. your my best friend.
2. your have so many people who care here.
3. your familys here.
4. where are u gna go?
5. so u can keep me out of trouble.
6. because this is your home, and you were raised here.
7. youll make new friends.
8. u might start hanging out with the wrong crowd.
9. youll forget about us.
10. alot of people will start leaving.
11. the gang will fall apart.
12. the gang needs you.
13. the gang will replace u. and i dont kno wat i would do.
14. who will i hang out with...
15. who will make sure your safe?
16. what if something happens, and i cant be thier for you.
17. ill need a new best friend.
18. who will burn my popcorn for me?
19. you make me laugh till i want to pee myself.
20. your wierd as hell, just like me :).
21. who will i watch girly movies with?!, not with the guys D:..
22. i can talk to you about anything.
23. you can talk to me about anything.
24. your always thier for me.
25. im always thier for you.
26. wen im feeling the worst, u make me feel better.
27. when YOUR feeling the worst, i try my best to make u feel better, who will do that for u :{.
28. the way you sing corny songs
29. the way u embarass me by acting like an idiot :).
30. the way I embarrass u by acting like an idiot.(who else could embarass u like me?!)
31. how wen im being a bitch, u try and help me anyway.
32. the crazy things we do together, the things we couldnt do with anyone else.
33. how u hardly ever get mad at me.
34. how we aaaaaaalways get eachother.
35. how u always forgive me...when no one usually does.
36. how we tell eachother everything.
37. how u can practically read my mind, and i can read urs.
38. we always get eachothers jokes, wen no one else does.
39. the way we finish eachothers sentences.
40. all of our inside jokes, that no one else would get.
41. The way we never give up on eachother
42. The things that only ME nd YOU could do for fun, that other people would think is wierd.
43. the way you hit soda with ur spoon :).
44. Your my other half.
45. Your laugh is contagious :).
46. Your so smart, and im not. i need ur smarts :3.
47. I love how you would do anything to make me happy..when not many people would.
48. I would do anything to make you happy.
49. Who would protect me? D:.
50. How you understand why i do things.
51. how i understand why you do things.
52. I love how strong and independnt you are.
53. no one can replace you :(.
54. youll forget about when we were best friends :(
55. youll forget about when we were kids :(, and move on.
56. youll make a new best friend.
57. the way you push me to try hard in school, when no one else cares.
58. how we can have hour long conversations about the stupidest stuff.
59. how were always honest with eachother
60. the times we spend together shopping, seeing movies, just hanging out, are always fun.
61. how hyper and retarted we get together.
62. how if i dont want to be home, u always let me stay at ur house (and vise versa)
63. il miss your crazy ness
64. The way u refuse to completley grow up.
65.our crazy voices, sounds, and imitations that we always do together.
66.How you are always concerned about me, and im always concerned about you.
67. Your always good at everything, when im not.
68. il miss the places we go together D:.
69. ur my first best friend. and i dont no how to make a new one like u:(
70. how we are risk takers together.
71. how you always no what to say when we get in cop trouble.
72. how you always comfort me (vise versa)
73. Il loose part of my family.
74. you'll ruin my streak of not crying for 9 years.
75. how we always finish eachothers sentences.
76. we always think the same guys are cute.
77. how i can never stay mad at you.
78. the way you always listen to me
79. the way i always listen to you.
80. That i love you and if you leave...i dont know what would happen to me or you.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Thank you.
I woke up in the morning.(feelin like P-diddy.) lol nah..i woke up with a fuckin insane hang over. i was misserable. I didnt evenn remember the movie! What even happend? But i thought to myself. Dallas+steven+dawn drunk= many possibilities. Whatever, i thought. it couldnt b to bad.... right?....I went in the bathroom and brushed my teeth and accomplished all my other morning doings. Then I thought. Why don't I hang out with shyler today? So. Most of you no shyler. Me and him have been friends since grade school.I loved him (as a friend), because he was such a great friend. He was always thier for me, always helping me with my problems. we are alwayys joking around together, we just always had fun(usually doing things we shouldnt be doing), and he was just different. and you could tell.Shyler had a hard child life. scratch that. shyler just has a hard life. Which causes him to do alot of things hes not supposed to do. Hes a bad ass kid, but u can tell somewere inside of him is a good kid, and he doesnt deserve half of the bull shit his life gives him. He was ALWAYS introuble. Weather its from school, to cops, to adults, or girlfriends. He was always doin stuff he wasnt supposed to do. He has alot of friends, and out of all those people, i dont think he trusts even one of them, i dont even think he trusts me. And its not my fault or his. Its because of his life that caused him to think, he cant trust not one person but himself. And i respect him for that. I was talking to jamie and she told me they used to date! i was like how come I never know anything? Well apparently it was a 6 month relationship. imagine that? never would have guessed. I didnt nno jamie was into bad boys..but watever haha. Anyway, I called shyler up and he didnt answer. but i knew were hed be. I left my house and walked to the park. and thier he was, with a good 15 kids, leaning up against a fence talking. I dodged everyone and went up to him. "hey." i sed. "eyy,watsup?" he sed with a cigaretee in his mouth. i took the cigarete out of his mouth and stepped on it. "hey, come on, thats my last one." he sed kinda laughing. i threw it on the ground and stepped on it. He sed later to his friends and me and him decided to go do "nothin' leagil" lol. We walked for a while and had silly conversations about Dr. phil being so bald, and the fact that michael jackson is a pedophile. We always had the best conversations. we snuck into the movies and watched some stupid movie with lindsey lohan? that chick seriously needs to stop acting. So we left cuz it was getting to be kinda homosexual. We went to The mall and decided to go shopping with our "five finger discount." ;). and i usually dont go stealing with other people, its to risky, but he was real good at it. and i trusted him. It was cool. we stole the most random pointless things, like pokemon cards, sunglasses, and a snuggie? that one was hard to steal lol. the only stuff we got with purpose was cigarettes and a switch blade. It was my kinda fun :D. It was around 8 so we decided just to hitch a ride bak to my place and make some food or somethin. We hitched with some old hippie guy, the van reeked with bear and drugs, and shyler figured it was cool to pop a cigarette in his mouth, it wouldnt do the smell any worse, thats for sure. He dropped us off and We walked in my place. no one was home(as usual), but I saw we had mail. I skipped right trew the magazines, bills, etc., and saw this one letter. It had my old adress on it. thats wen my heart dropped. i didnt want to have anything to do with my parents. i didnt want to talk to them, see them, hear them, or even think about them. mean while, shyler was making food and sitting on my counter. I flinched to throw the letter out. but i was curious wat they wanted. So i opened it. it was from my mom..." dear johnny, brooklyn, and dawn. I know you don't want to talk to me right now. But i have to tell You, that your father died in a car accident." Everything else i read beyond that point was a blur and i wasnt even thinking about what i was reading. My father....died? It wouldnt sink in to my brain. No matter how much i wanted to hate him, or how much i wanted to pretend i didnt care. I knew i did because my father wasnt always a horrible person. everything got blury as tears started to fill my eyes, and i was startled because of it. I never cry..and i didnt want to start now. I started paceing and waving my hands at my face to cool me off. My eyes were shut tight, and i was breathing sort of heavy, so no tears could escape. Thats when Shyler jumped off the counter and walked over to me. He picked up the letter and read it. He had no expresision, and he wasnt sad. he hated my father. He walked over to me slowly and pulled me to his chest. The more i thought about it the more i wanted to cry. So i just kept thinking, he kicked u guys out of ur house, he screamed at u,..he hit u. I pulled bak the tears but still felt sick. he held me tight. "come on, dont break on me now. Remember when we were 8? and we were both in that empty parking lot ridin our bikes cuz both our parents were flippin out on us and we sed we were gna run away, but we didnt? That was the last time u cried. and it was only because u slammed into that fence on ur bike because u were busy turned around talkin to me. u were ballin but i thought it was hysterical. that was the last time u ever had a tear in ur eye." he said trying to look at me but i hid my face in his shirt because i didnt want him so see me upset. "thanks." i sed quitley, because the more i talked the more my voice cracked, and i didnt want to cry. "any time dawn..anytime." he sed quitely. he was still hugging me and he still had no expression. This question popped into my head, and i just blurted it out like a dumb ass. i looked up at him. " are we more then friends?" i said to him and about a half second later i relized wat a dumb question that was. He smiled the slightest bit, but u could tell his mind was somewere else, he didnt seem surprised by my question at all. "we always have been." He sed. "then why have we always just stayed friends?" i asked, again, noticing it was a stupid question and i shoud just stop talking. "it aint that easy. We could never date. Because i am possitive i would disapoint you." he said staring off some were. As much as i wanted to tell him no. You wouldnt. I knew i would be lieng to him, and myself. I was friends with shyler since we were kids. i was thier for his first cut. when he broke his first arm. when he had his first girlfriend.The first time he got drunk. When he got in his first fight. And when his brother died. I was thier for him. All those times were i had to pull him out of these bad choices he would hav made if i wasnt thier, the times he was flipping out in his room, punching walls, because his parents were driving him crazy. No matter how much that always scared me wen he did that, it was either me or one of his other friends who were thier. and even through all that, no matter how much he cares about me, i new if we dated he would hurt me. and it wasnt his fault or mine. It was just the fact that hes shyler, and he could never get it right, because he was great at hurting the ones he cared for the most. so i didnt complain. plus, i didnt want to ruin our friendship in a 10 minute conversation. He stopped hugging me and we sat on the couch. We started talking about things like the shamwow, and how fat chicks shouldnt wear tight shirts. and how hannah montana is over rated, and also how american idol is nothing without paula. We started laughing and soon i just forgot about the hole thing. It got late and as we kept talking i just fell asleep. and when i woke up. All the lights wer turned off, i had magically appeared in my bed, my blankets were over me, and he was gone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
music in its finest form
