schmoozch.

stupid fuckin authorities think they have this supreme over lord dictatorship over the public. well all i see is a bunch of yuppies in fancy black suits with suede shoes. they took Aidan away last week and gave him back to my psycho, belligerent, alcoholic parents. dumb fucks. i told them so many times. i showed them the scars i had from my parents.  they saw the anguish in his eyes when they told him he had to go back. but they took him anyway without even a slight amount of hesitation or remorse. ass holes. they knew my parents were going to hit him twice as hard as usual when he got home because he caused THEM trouble and made THEM go out of there way to look for him. but that of course would be an excessively long, tiresome job for the cops to  set up a case for us to have custody, and would cause them to be late for their stupid dinner or something, god for fucking bid. besides, they probably feel as if they did a good thing. like they deserve a pat on the back and a cookie because they worked hard for the day. well. while they eat their home cooked meal a 4 year old kid is getting battered in the kitchen with whatever object mom and dad could conveniently find...
perfect epitome of classic American laziness.

---------------------------------------------

I will not be disrespectful to my teacher. i will not be disrespectful to my teacher. i will not be disrespectful to my teacher. i repeated this sentence 50 times on the board, my hands felt gross from the chalk. "teach." i called her from reading her book at her desk. "i finished your punishment or whatever. So uh. bye." i said getting my bag. "Dawn." she said looking up from her glasses, ya know, how teachers do when they try to take on the "I'm super smart and mature" look. she beckoned me to come to her desk with her finger. Dammit it was already 3:30. i wanted to get out of this dump. i sighed and rolled my eyes as i walked over to her desk. "and rolling your eyes is both immature and disrespectful." she said with her nose in the air. shes such a priss, I thought. she probably was a socs. "you have detention again tomorrow." she said. No frickin way. i had plans with Car to play poker at my buddy groovys house (and yes, I'm not kidding, the dudes name is groovy. parents were hardcore hippies.) I got pissed and i thought about telling the snotty bitch off. I'm not exactly mature and I'm sure as hell disrespectful, so what the hell, i thought. "No way man. I have a life outside this dungeon. i sure as hell am not spending another hour with your cranky ass writing on a chalk board about being disrespectful!" i left. i think i was the one who was being cranky. but eh. i had a hang over.



The real reason why i didn't want to come back to that dreaded place again  tomorrow was because i was supposed to meet up with chase.  I liked thinking about Chase. But one thing always bugged me whenever I did. Chase is so nice,smart and mature. just different from me i guess. Hes got more class and hes well rounded. I catch myself thinking, he could get any girl he wants, but he goes for the sassy bad girl. He literally reminds me of superman or something, minus the being from a different planet and the cape. hes kind of perfect, i wasn't used to it. i didn't get it. i never will. but its okay. I'm not really one to dwell on things. so it leaves my mind pretty quickly.



bryon

I walked in my house to see the oh-so wonderful sight of my little sister and ponyboy making out on my couch. "OH GET A ROOM." i yelled. "I'm leaving for groovys. bye." i said putting down my book bag. they were to busy sucking face to say anything so i just left. The walk was pretty short. groovys house is pretty close to mine. I conveniently came across Carson sitting on a bench eating cotton candy. "well howdy there partner. ready for some poker playin' fun?"  i said as i took the cotton candy bag and ate some. "psht. always." she said. "so. who's asses are we kickin' tonight?" i said, kicking a can  on the street as we made our way to groovys. "uhh. a few of groovys cousins, the two Avalon kids, Tim Sheppard, Bryon Douglas, Dal. that's all i know of." she said, lighting a menthol. "you said Tim and Bryon? like together playing poker? do they know there both going?" i said. Bryon and Tim have a long history of feuding. like the times when Bryon got in fights with curly, or when he cut off  all Angela's hair when he got her drunk enough to pass out. and then of course when Tim rounded up a bunch of people and had Bryon jumped because of it. them in the same room together could be dangerous. "nope i don't think they do." Carson said. "fantastic. bring on the drama" i said sarcastically. We walked in the house. groovy and his cousins, Tim, and the Avalon's were sitting at the big table in the living room. "hello ladies. care for a glass of shmoozch?" groovy said smiling. groovy was a lanky, tall, and some what nerdy 17 year old boy. he wore alot of Tye dye clothing and vintage band tees.  he had Carmel colored long shaggy hair that was always in his face, and he always wore sandals, even in the cold.  he was a complete dorky freak. but i loved the kid. "whats a schmoozch?" i said putting my sweater down on the chair. "pshh well its only the most awsome thing to ever touch your taste buds man!" he got up from the table to get me and Carson cups. i could only guess what that wacky kid conjured up. i was almost scared to try it. "take a gander at that." he said handing us the glasses. i looked at it. it was green. lime green. i shrugged and chugged it down. it tasted great. but it made me dizzy from the insane amounts of alcohol. "ya like? you might experience some hallucinations or brutally vicious regurgitation."
"wonderful." i said handing him the cup. "but that's what its all about! floating into a bizarre aberrational hallucination of ones true self man!" he said excitedly. "lay off the shmoozch kid. your talkin all weird and hippie like again." i said patting his head. we finally sat down to play some poker. I was happy Bryon hadn't shown up yet.  the night was going okay. just as i thought of this. the door bell just had to ring. i sighed. here we go, i thought. groovy was probably to high to realize he invited them both. I got up from my seat and went to the door and lo and behold, Dallas and Bryon are standing there. "hey baby." Bryon said, then kissing my cheek. he was always the biggest flirt. so i didn't even pay attention to it. "Tim Sheppard is here. case you didn't know." i said  whipping my cheek with my hand. him and Dallas just walked in, completely disregarding what i said. "hey look its my good pal Tim." Bryon said sarcastically. "what the fuck is this kid doin' here." Tim said angrily, getting up from his seat. "oh sit the fuck down, I'm not trying to fight here." Bryon said in response. everyone was standing ready to hold people back. "i am." Tim said getting in his face. "fine Tim. if your trying to get your ass beat." Bryon said smirking. "hows Angela? her hair grow back yet? hey tell her to stop by my place tonight around 12, it would be like good old times, she was always great in bed." And with that Tim threw the first punch. they were both pretty tough. this fight could end badly for either of them. Dallas, groovys cousins, and the Avalon kids tried breaking it up. but i just stood there because i didn't feel like getting accidentally punched in the face. Dallas finally pulled Bryon away enough to separate the fight. both Tim and Bryon's faces were nice and cut up. Bryon with a busted lip and Tim with a bloody nose. Dal brought Bryon outside and i stayed inside with Tim. i asked if he was okay, but i knew even if he wasn't he'd say he was. its a guy thing i guess. I went outside to see Dal and Bryon. they were smoking on the porch. typical. "hey, you come out to see me?" Bryon said smirking. "shut up. God your lip is reeaaallyy split." i said laughing a bit. "yea it'll look tough in the morning though." he said, then taking a long pull from his cigarette. I left with Bryon and Dal who talked about dumb guy stuff the hole time in the car, like hockey and how Bryon thinks he could have kicked Tim's ass if Dal didn't pull him away. I was to tired to add my input, tired and worried. i started to think about Aidan again. i hoped he was doing alright. Bryon dropped off Dal and i got in the front seat.  we drove to my house then just sat in the car and smoked. "whats distracting you?" He said directing his attention towards me. "nothin'." i said plainly. i didn't want to give him a big sob story. i didn't like talking to tough kids about that kind of stuff. he wouldn't want to hear about it anyway. "you miss that kid huh?" he said without much emotion. i guess he heard about it. "yea." i said avoiding eye contact, i didn't want him to see that i was upset. "go to the cops and try to get custody. don't let them just take him like that. if you want him back then get him back." I guess he was right. i could if i tried. even a foster home was better then that place. "hey what you doin tomorrow?" he said changing the subject. "i got a date with chase." i said. "how about after your date with chase you come over my house." he said smirking. God the kid could be helpful but he was still such an ass. "no you horny fuck." i said getting out of the car. "okay how bout the next day? ill have to check my schedule but I'm pretty sure I'm free." he said yelling out his car window, laughing. "goodbye Bryon" i said smirking. I decided the next day i would go to the cops to try and legally get aidan taken away from my parents.

"If it wasnt for those meddling kids.."

"Dawn. you cant be serious. where are we ganna like. put it?" brook whined at me, as i sat on the counter. "first hes not an It brook. and im not sure yet..we'll find a way." I think i was trying to re-assure myself, more then her. "but dawn. u cant go around stealing kids. its illegal." brook said.  i rolled my eyes. "um yea duh its illegal. thanks captain obvious. and hes not a random kid. hes ur brother. besides." i said as i hopped off the counter top. "its not like Katherine and michael will give a hang anyway. chill out."  Brooks looked at me with disaproving eyes. "your out of your mind." she said with her arms crossed over her chest. "that may be true. but it was KC's idea for this one." i said with a mouthful of chips, im such a lady. brook stared at me for a minute. "how are you going to do this anyway?" she said. " dont swet it. i got a plan." i said with a sly smile. I didnt want to think it over to come to my senses and realize how bad of a freaking idea it was, so i turned around and went back to my room so little miss brooklyn couldnt talk me out of my hasty decision to kidnap my little brother.

the next day, early in the morning spies DC and KC were on a mission. aka dawn and kitty creepily stalked the cade residence through binoculars in a bush, to see when those ass holes left for work. we stayed put for a good hour, until finally 7 30 came around, and the baby sitter went in, and  the ass holes went out. perfect, i thought. everything is going acourding to plan  "okay..lets just play it cool." i whispered to kit as we crossed
the street to the Cade residence. God the place still gave me the heebie jeebies, and my parents werent even in the damn place. i knocked on the door, and took a deep breath. "well hello there" a young woman said smiling, as she opend the door. i was happy she was young, it cant be to hard to out smart a 25 yr old. "hi im katherine and michaels daughter." i said smiling, pretending i gave a shit about talking to her. "oh." she said confused. "they didnt tell me they had another daughter." Go figure -.-. Before i could blurt out an explanation on why my parents didnt mention me, she began to speak again. "so how old are you hun." hun? dude your like 25. i thought. "22." , i lied. "really?" "you look much younger." she said suprised.  Me and kit laughed, hopefully not nervously, and she let us in. Check. decieving the dumb baby sitter was complete. now for the hardest part. "Aidan!" the lady shouted. "your sisters here!" A moment later the small little blue eyed boy came out of the den. I prayed the kid was quiete and wasnt ganna make a scene. "yea i was ganna take him out for the weekend. i just called my parents, they're alright with it." i said nonchalauntly. im a good liar, i thought proudly.  "oh..okay. ill go pack his things." and with that, me, kit, and aiden were out the door. I was happy he didnt protest. then again hes only 4.  "Dude how good are we?!" kit said smiling, giving me a knuckle touch. We got in the car and we started to relax. we rambled on about how dumb the sitter was and we almost actually forgot the kid was in the car for a second there. We turned around simultaneously to see a little boy looking back at us with a blank stare. "uhhhh...hello there" i said smirking. he just kept staring at us without saying anything, ya know, like all little kids do. "im kitkat, and this is your sister dawn" kit said slowly, with a cheesy smile. he still didnt respond. "eh. whatever." i said turning on the car.i started thinking about the conciquences as we  drove down the road, and i have to admit, i came up with 27 of them. i looked at kit at a stop light.
 "kit...we just stole a kid."

We got home and we brought the kid in my room and locked the door. kitty sighed and crossed her arms. "let me guess. u DIDNT tell johnny?"  "yeaaaa...about that.. i was-" kit cut me off  "dammit dawn. so its just a big surprise?"  "noo...well...yeah. yea kinda." i said looking at the floor. all of a sudden a knock came from my door. just then, brook walked into my room. "....omg. omg omg omg. u really did!!" she yelled. "SHHH! keep it down!" i whispered. "johnny might hear" I covered brooks mouth as she continued to babble on underneath my hand. I heard someone start walking towards my room. "we're screwed." kit said plainly. "hey Daw-" johnny stopped when he saw Aiden. "whos that?" he said laughing a little "uhh johnny. this is ur little brother..."

"I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong, but im movin' on"

I paced apprehensively in my room, and I had bitten my nails down to the nub.
I felt like I had been waiting hours for kit to get to my place. Finally i heard a knock on my door. I went to the door quickly and unlocked it. "God damn kitty, took you long enough!" i said "hey relax. i got here when u asked me to dummy. Its 3 o clock?" she said pointing to the clock on the wall. i hadnt even looked at the clock..but it felt like forever. "oh..right. sorry." i said calming down. "listen Dawn. you dont have to say much. we'll go in, then go out. simple as that. got it? now get your panties out of a bunch and lets go." kit said. Her pep talks are usually fool proof on me. but not this time. My stomach was in a knot and my feet felt like they were nailed to the floor. We finally left and i smoked 4 ciggerettes until we finally reached the sign. "here we are. cherry lane. such a happy name, for such a shitty place." i said shaking my head as we stared at the street sign. kit patted my back and kept walking. I stared at it for a moment, lit a ciggerette and moved forward. The sun was just starting to go down, the sky was filled with pinks and oranges. As we got closer, i clenched my hands in fists and tried to slow down the beating in my chest. Me and kit barely talked. there was nothing to say.
I looked up and saw the place i spent my child hood. i shook my head in discust. the place made me sick just by the sight. All i could think was, this is where i lost my innocence, this is where i wasted my youth..
 
I closed my eyes for a moment. "you got this." kit said encouragingly, and with that, we procieded towards Katherine and Michael Cade's house. We got on the porch and i literally felt like i needed to go throw up in a bush (preferably thier bush, for my own amusment) but all jokes aside, my stomach was turning. I felt like it took me 5 years to lift up my hand and ring the door bell. After a few moments, i heard shuffling in the house, and someone unlocked the door. I sighed. The door opend and i Saw Katherine. she had a confused but happy look on her face. "Dawn. this is a pleasent suprise." She said. I didnt look at her. i looked every where but at her. "i need the necklace." i said plainly. I had gotten a necklass from my grandmother when she was on her death bed, and she meant the world to me, it was a gold locket, and i had left it here when we left. "oh right of course." she said. "why dont you both come on in? We made cookies" she said smiling and nodding. I knew the whole thing was a fasad. She was only acting nice to get me back in the house so she could push me around some more. "no thanks." i said. still not looking at her. "well dear i dont know where you left your necklass, youll have to come in and look for it anyway. it might be in ur room." I walked in without saying anything, and me and kit went upstairs.  It felt so odd walking through those same halls. I saw on the wall where me johnny and brook got messured when we were younger. So many memmories this place held in its walls. I passed johnnys old room and saw it had a race car bed and toys. my heart sank, do i have another sibling?  i thought. "kit. look." i said quietly, pointing into the room. she raised her eye brows. neither of us said anything. we continued to my room. "this is ganna take forever dawn. how are u ganna remember where u put a necklass from years ago?" Kit said putting her hands on her hips. "its in there." i said pointing to my old diary. I opend it with the key, and there it was. I smiled and took the  dusty diary and my necklace from the room. Kit left the room and started down stairs. I looked around for a minute. You could still see the sunset peaking from over the trees out of my window. I turned off the light in my room, and went down stairs. "what are you two doin here" my drunken father said with a nasty look on his face. He aged so much through those couple years. I tried to ignore him, the door was right there and then i would never have to see this place again. his arm stopped me and kit from walking out the door. "i knew youd come back. You need us." he sneered. I didnt look at him either. but behind Michael i saw a scared little boy. with bright blue eyes and black hair. He looked like me. He stood behind his father, and he had a bruise on his cheak. he couldnt have been more then 2 or 3. "hey! do you hear me!" michael said, taking me out of my thoughts. He shook me real fast. I remember promising to myself i would never let that man hit or hurt me ever again. "you dont fucking touch me." i said looking at him dead in the eye. "you hear me? ur a piece of shit. And i feel sorry for that little boy standing behind you, who has to grow up in this sorry excuse for a home." I said with anger.  He was stunned. "i am not afraid of you anymore. and i sure as hell dont need you." Right before we left, i stared into the little boys scared eyes sympathetically. My father probably would have back handed me in the face, but he was to shocked to make a move. I grew up alot over the years. Me and kit walked out the door. I smiled, and we walked home.

Janies got a gun

the feeling of being confused really drives me insane.
i knew two things. i did like randy. and the second thing i knew was that relationship probably could never work out..unfortunatly. After i realized this, i didnt know what to do with myself. should i talk to him? should we just be friends? or should i just ignore him? thoughts whirled around my head like a washing machine. "whisky..wheres the whisky.." i mumbled to myself as i looked under my bed and in my drawers. "looking for this?" i heard someone say from behind me. "ah-ha! u found it. thanks johns" i said reaching for the bottle, then johnny moved it quickly behind him dodging me. "uhmm." i said kind of laughing "whats up johnny? why do i get the feeling ur not ganna give me my whisky.." "oh. probably because im not." he said smiling, still hiding the bottle behind his back. "uhm. john. i dont want to do this. but if this is how its ganna be, i will seriously maul u to the ground." i said with a straight face. "Dawn listen kiddo. uve been drinking alot latley. u dont need this trust me." He said sincerely. i shot him a cold glair. "yeaaa..im ganna go find a muffin..errr somthing" he said akwardly, then dashed down the hall way with the bottle. Great, i thought. now i have nothing to help me think. "dawn?" i turned around. i took a breath to keep myself from letting my frustration out. "yes brook." "Dim and jelly are back today. everyones meeting up there tonight. plus im sure they'll have drinks there" she winked. drinks?  i thought happily. "what are we waiting for?" i said smiling.

we walked on the train tracks on our way to dims. "ever wonder where these trains go?" brook said as she ballanced on the tracks. "nope." i said plainly as i lit a ciggerete. "what if one goes to california? or florida? uw or canada!" she said as her mind wandered. as she rambled on, i saw some people in the distance. I squinted hard to try and make out there faces. My heart sank when i finally did. I saw Randy and his little socs friends walking down the street, towards me and brook. i cut off brook while she was still talking "dude. look what the cat dragged in" she looked in the distance and her eyes widend. "oh god.. what do we do?" she said. "nothin'." i said walking in the same path. "lets just man up." "ugh. dawn. i dont want to "man up". im a girl!" she said whining. "brooks. just act natural." i said.  Just as they were about to pass us, they stopped infront of us. i didnt even look at Randy. Just at there little group leader. "Move." The girl said coldy, pushing her brown hair off her sholder. Brook stood behind me keeping her mouth shut. "Listen. Lets not make this into a fight over a  petty argument, because ur face will probably be broken if thats the case."  I said giving her a cold stare. "no. you listen greaser. Ur in our way." Randy said coldy. my jaw almost fell to the floor. I hoped to hell he was just saying that because his friends were there. I shook my head slowly. i walked close to him and put my finger in his face. "You. discust me." i said quietly threw clenched teeth. He looked at me, but he didnt look like he gave a fuck. "come on brook." i said, not taking my eyes off his, still in his face. I pushed against his sholder with mine as i walked away. Me and brook didnt exchange a word for the remainder of the walk.

"hunny im home." i said as i walked in dims house, seeing everyone in the living room. Me and brook exchanged our hugs and greetings to dim and jelly, telling them how much we missed them. And just to be a dork i gave Bre a hug and told her how much i missed her, even though i had just seen her the day before xD. "so guys. where's the alcohol?" i said to whoever was listening. "kitchen" jelly said pointing. i walked over to the kitchen, even though i wanted to haul ass, because well, i really needed a drink. "perfect, jager.." i said queitly to myself as i picked up the bottle and put some in a cup. I downed it fast. I didnt feel like thinking about Randy. hes not worth confusing my brain. "hey dawn." Dim said walking into the room with a stranger, a very attractive stranger might i add. but i did remeber him from a picture i saw of dim and him back in cali that was on dims dresser. he had grey blue eyes, that were just completley mezmorizing. it was the first thing i noticed about him. is everyone from california beautiful? lols. he made me feel weak and girly just by him standing in the doorway. i fuckin hate that feeling. but i couldnt help it. "I got to run out real quick, can you hang out with chase for a while till i get back?"  Dim said. " yea yea. no problem" i said almost jumping at the offer. I hope it wasnt complatley obvious that he made me nervous. "what you drinkin there?" he asked. he had a sexy voice, i thought. "uhm..jaeger." i said nodding my head. "mmm." he said smirking, as he took the bottle from my hand and poured it in a cup "im sorry, i didnt formally introduce myself. Chase." he said sticking out his hand with a cute side smile. i liked that these cali boys were total gentlemen, i wasnt used to it. i smiled and shook it. "Dawn."  i replied. " well miss Dawn, hows the scene down here in Tulsa?" he asked curiously. "welp. you got ur snooty rich kids, rodeos, we got an art museum..i guess thats pretty cool if ur into that kind of stuff, you got ur down town area where alot of people hang out. gang rivelries.and lame chinese food. but. it aint all that bad. we're all real close, so we make the best of everything. its probably not as exciting as cali though. God that place sounds bitchin'." i said smiling. he laughed a little "yea its not to bad. If your into 100 degree weather and earth quakes" he said smirking. "how long u plannin on staying anyway?" i said. hoping it was a little bit longer then a week vaca. he laughed a little. "what?" i said smirking. "ur accent. its soo.. genuine. i like it." he said. "you enjoy hick accents? i dont." i said blushing, but laughing. "well, i wouldnt call it a hick accent." he said laughing. Dim walked into the room and raised an eye brow. "uhm dawn. brook said you guys have to leave now, since u have school tomorrow." dim said. "oh... well ill be seeing yall" i said and left the room. i was disapointed. i wanted to keep talking to him. i didnt know if id see him again. he was different. i liked it.

cross my heart and hope to die

Yet another drive with Randy. and it was quiter then the last time.
 it felt like that silence u get after u and ur mom get in a big fight in the car about how uve been dressing like a whore, or how she thinks ur on drugs or somthing and she doesnt aprove, that kind of akward silence. You could feel the tension.We didnt speak. we didnt look at eachother. nothing. I couldnt talk to him. not after he helped out with yet another one of sheldons little schemes even after me and him "bonded", if u will. We were back to square one and again i wanted to wring his neck. But somewere inside of me. I could forgive him. because i knew that just because we were forced to be partners on a school project doesnt change that hes a socs. and im a greaser. This social class seperation is starting to give me whip lash.

"uhh that way." i said telling him the directions, figuring i had to loosin' up so we could just  finish the damn project. We pulled infront of my place.  "im not sure whos here. but im hoping u wore a cup just incase." i said jokingly as we walked up to the porch. he laughed slightly nervously. "im being serious man." i said shrugging as i opend the door before he could respond. "home!" i yelled to who ever was there. I heard talking and laughing in the living room. i walked in to find about half the gang hanging out. Everyone stopped talking and looked at us. "project." i said a little fast and nervous before anyone could say anything. Dallas stood up slowly, kind of like he was ganna act on his feelings. but i grabbed randy by the arm and brought him upstairs faster than you could say pumpernickle.

"you know your ganna have to hang out with us later..right?" i said as i locked my door from my friends. never thought id see the day were i hide a head socs in my room from them. "i know. that cup is sounding pretty good right now" he said smirking. "wow..so ur room..its dark." he said looking around.  "pretty much" i said admiring the black and red pattern that seemed to reoccur. okay this is me pressing the fast forward button through me and adderson's akward small talk and what not :3.

"next question. what do your parents do as an occupation?" he read off the sheet. "they get blasted. next." i said as i layed down playing with a piece of string.
"okay my Dad drinks alot as well but u have to put a-"  i cut him off. "i dont have parents anymore. calling them parents is like calling pee wee herman ur average joe." i said getting a little frustrated. "well do you live with them?" he asked sounding kind of concerned. "nope. i didnt feel like getting smacked around anymore." i answered nonchalantly
"..we'll skip that one." he said, continuing the list of questions.
 we were just about finished with our question sheet when someone began knocking on my door in a familiar rythm. "time to eat. you to adderson. hows everything goin in there?" it was johnny. suprinsingly acting worried. he doesnt worry about me much. he knows he doesnt have to. "uhmm..fine?" i said kind of laughing. "okay..well time to eat." he said as he walked down the hall "i could go now if you would like.." he said uncomfortably. it was funny seeing him outside of his comfort zone, he acted like a scared little orphan, i kind of enjoyed it in a way. "would u relax?" i said smiling. "now come on. it wont be that bad." as we got closer i remembered that tonightt was the night wen we had the gang over for dinner, but not all of them could make it considering it was the day before christmas eve and they had to visit family and stuff. but there was still alot of people.  i just kept thinkin, this is ganna be a long night..

we stepped into the room and everyone shot randy dirty looks. "what are u doin here, prick?" Dally said stepping forward i stepped inbetween them, i knew dal wasnt going to try and crush him with his "words"."i thought we already established that me and Dawn here have a project to do, so for once in your life act like a civilized human being rather than a neanderthal." randy said proudly with his arms crossed over his chest.  dallas stepped forward and i grabbed him by the shoulders trying to calm him down. "dallas take it easy okay.." i said quietly. he ignored me. " are u lookin to get ur face bashed in?" dallas said through gritted teath and angry eyes. " oh i think he is dall." jamie said smiling. "jamie dont add fuel to the fire -.-" i said shooting her a look. " oh please. you dont scare me greaser" randy said shaking his head, sizing dal up. Soon It was a comotion, with twobit and soda holding back dall as he cursed left and right, and Randy was doing the exact same back. i was yelling for Dallas to stop it while i stood in between them. there was so much yelling i dont even think either of them heard what eachother were saying, but they looked vicious like they were about to rip eachothers heads off.  "QUITTEEE!!!!!" kit  yelled as she banged a big pot with a spoon. " i want to kill him as much as the next guy but can we PUHLEASE eat dinner already?" Dal didnt look like he was ready to cooperate. he continued giving randy a look of disgust. but atleast everything had calmed down and the yelling stopped. "come on dal.." soda said. after a few seconds of intense staring dallas turned and walked away to the table. i exhaled, and turned to face randy "you dont have to eat here if u dont want.." i said quietly "yea. really. u dont have to stick around." brook said with a dirty look. "oh shut it brooklyn why dont you  mind your own buissness." randy said with an equally nasty look. "Dawn control ur spoiled rich kid please." brook said with her arms crossed. "come on.." i said. bringing randy to my room. i was mad. i was mad at everyone. i was mad at dallas. randy. everyone. they didnt even have to aknoledge eachother. it was unessasary to fight like that, and its causing me to get a shit grade on my project because they couldnt control themselves. we got up to my room. "what are you doing?"  randy said as i looked in my top drawer. i pulled out my lighter and a pack of newports. "want one?" i said already having the ciggerette in my mouth, about to light it. he hesitated, then took a ciggerete. "why not." he said smirking. "sorry about that." i said, throwing him the lighter. "my friends are just mad about wats been goin on with bob and shit. cant say im to happy about it either." "dont apologize. it wasnt your fault..sometimes i just want to end it. what does money have to do with anything? sometimes i want us to all just be equal..but its not that simple.." he said then taking a long drag from the ciggerette. "you dont have to be like the rest of them ya know" i said. "i kinda do. its how i was raised, how i was taught. its not fair" he said looking really consentrated. there was silence for a moment. just the sound of us inhaling and blowing out the cigarette smoke. "you know.  your not to bad adderson." i said.  "but you know were ganna have to go back to hating eachother tomorrow after this is over...and i have to be honest i kind of enjoyed hanging out with you" "..yea me to" we kind of just looked in eachothers eyes for a moment. he was such a good looking kid. to bad he had to be friends with those jerks, i thought. he started moving closer to me.  and i started getting confused. he put his hands slowly around my waist grabbing my hips with his cold hands, he moved my hair from my shoulder, pulled me closer and started kissing my neck. "uhmmm...wat are u doing?" i said putting my hands on his, moving them away from my hips. "relax.." he said moving his hands back were they were and slowly moving his lips to mine. he tasted like mint and ciggeretes, my favorite. my eyes started closing slowly.. It took me a few seconds of really good kissing to come back to reality. "woah woah woah. this cannot happen" i said pulling myself back away from randy."whats the problem?" he said looking at me confused. "whats the problem?..whats the problem?! the problem is that idk u have a gf?  ur a socs? idk randy u do the math." i yelled as i crossed my arms and gave him that pissed off/upset look. i heard a knock on the door. "uhh is everything okay in there?" james said through the door. she must have heard the yelling. "uhh yea. yea..ill be out in a minute james." i said probably sounding unsure. "if you say so.." jamie said as i head her walk down the hall. i knew she didnt believe me. shes to smart. "i think its best if you go.." i said looking at him. he just looked at me confused for a moment with hard eyes "...alright..."he walked out of my room and i shut the door. i went back into my top drawer and got out my whisky and took a few sips to clear my head, and get the taste of him out of my mouth. why would he want to kiss me, a greaser from the gang that he fights with the most out of all greaser gangs? i kept trying to figure it out but i couldnt. i didnt get it. just two weeks ago we hated eachother. i wasnt mad. because it would be a lie to say i didnt want to kiss him to. i was just confused.

Glitter in the air part 3 (just bite your lip.)

(if you haven't, or if u forgot wat it was about cuz its been so long, read my last post so u know wtf this post is about.) Randy. ------------------>

and below him is Meghan

                                                                     

the drive to addersons was sufficiently akward.
 it was quite most of the way. i kept my guard up and my hand in a fist just in case he tried anything.

"would you relax greaser? I'm not ganna touch you." he said looking straight ahead at the road. my hand was still tightly in a fist. there was a pause. "oh yea?  and since when do i trust a socs?! especially one that helped hurt my friends?!.. u disgust me." i yelled. i felt my ears getting hot and my throat starting to burn. i chocked down tears. "quite a temper you got on you Cade. tell me something, how is it that little Brooklyn is so sweet, and johnny is so sensitive. and your a hot headed bitch? i didn't touch ur friends. Bob only said to me that we were ganna go jump some greasers. ...i didn't know how far he'd take it.." he said " oh boo hoo. you cant fucking say no?! u couldn't tell him u didn't want to do it?! have ur own fucking mind socs.." i said as i crossed my arms in disgust. "you don't get it greaser..Bobs been my best friend since we were in diapers..i couldn't tell him no." he said looking straight, and maybe with a slight bit of pain and frustration written on his face. I just looked at him for a few seconds. then turned my head to face the window for the rest of the ride to the south side..

We were in the south side. and it looked like Mr Rodgers threw up all over the place.
 it was the perfect neighborhood. the perfect huge houses. the perfect people walking their perfect dogs. the perfect mustangs. it was so...plastic. He caught me looking through the car window in awe. "not like ur usual hood is it greaser?"  he said, but not in a snobby way. i ignored his comment and continued to look. "well. this is my house" he said uninterested. it was huge. it was a light tan color, it had  big doors with a huge window above them ,showing an enormous crystal chandelier. "is uhm..is anyone home?" i said feeling uncomfortable as i got out of the car. "uh yea. my Dad and Meghan." he said. i hated his sister. she was one of cherries friends. i sighed loudly. "okay. lets get this over with.." we walked in his house. it looked even bigger from the inside. it wasn't to colorful. marble white floor. white walls. "Randy. home so early?" i heard his dad yell from the other room. "uhh yea." i could tell he felt uncomfortable introducing me to his dad. i wasn't exactly wearing a sweater vest and matching knee length skirt. he came over to us and looked me up and down and smiled slightly. "hello. I'm Stan." he said as he shook my hand. i hesitated then shook his hand. randy was already on the steps motioning me to follow him upstairs. "yea, so this is my room." he said like it WASN'T the most beautiful room ever. it looked like a room for a prince. "ur kidding right?.. i feel like Cinderella." i said smiling and looking around the room. he smirked and laughed a bit. i saw a picture on his dresser and picked it up. "who's this?" i asked. "mom."  he said with not much emotion. "wow. total milf." i said joking around nodding my head. "he cracked a smile, but it quickly faded. "no but shes real pretty." i said still looking at the picture. "yea she was." he said also looking at it. "was?" i said. "yea she uhh..she died when i was 13." he said looking at the floor. and that was one of the first times I've ever seen pain in a socs eyes. emotional pain. "sorry.." i said quietly. he sighed. "things happen." he said walking away to avoid continuing the subject. "so lets get started on this project shall we?" he said getting out his stuff. we sat on his floor and did our work..

after about an hour i started getting bored and side tracked (well of course, its me xD.) he was asking me questions about my life as i tried to balance my pencil on my nose. "ugh. can we go do something else? we've been asking each other questions for like. 6 hours." i said in a whiny voice. "its only been an hour..but okay okay. I'm supposed to show you what its like to be me to i guess." He said and got up to put his stuff away. "wait were are you going?" i said "were going out." he said as if i had no say in the matter. "oh no no no no. no offense adderson. but ur friends aren't exactly my cup of tea." i said kind of laughing at the thought of actually spending a day with a bunch of socs. "well don't worry. Bob isn't attending this get together. I'll tell them to keep there hands to themselves." he said. "...and what makes you think i can trust you?" i said before he went to walk out his bedroom door. he turned around and looked at me. "can't  you just trust me for today? I don't want to fail this project. were not going to jump you or anything, now come on. get ur notebook u got to write down what we do.." He said leaving the room before i could protest. i sighed and grabbed my notebook.
We got to this kids house and there i saw cherry, Marsha, Meghan (addersons' sister) and a few other boys outside. i became nauseated at the sight. They whispered and giggled. I walked up to them with Randy. "hey. quit ur giggling. I'm required to be here. And don't worry. I'm just here to observe. Trust me. i don't want to be here just as much as u don't want me here. They rolled their eyes and carried on with their conversation. one of Randys friends james brought out a bottle of whine and Vodka. The girls were so..idk. Fake? theyve been treated like royalty their whole lives they didnt even get a chance to mold thier personalities from mistakes or sadness.they were fake and concieted. i swear, their heads were so big that they were ganna snap off thier necks. I wrote things down. but their wasnt much to say.
The boys played football in the yard. i sat on the steps sort of near the girls. but not close enough to catch thier cooties. The boys were kind of like us..they fooled around and laughed. they acted sort of like brothers.
The sun started to go down so we all went to the movies. I  DID NOT want to be seen in public with these people. i was freaking out on the inside. i kept thinking,
 inhale. exhale. inhale exhale.

We got out of the car and walked in the drive in. And then i saw meghan Whisper in cherries ear. then look at me. Knowing me. i wasnt going to let that slide. "Yo. got something to share Meghan?" I said with my bout to slap a hoe look on my face. She came in my face. we all stopped walking. i knew shit was bout to go down. i just kept thinking, sorry randy..
"Go home greaser. I dont want my brother near any greasy sluts." She said waving her manicured finger in my face. I started at her with a slight grin. "sweetie. You must not know my reputation to well. because you would have known that was a terrible idea." i said shaking my head. "No no. i know ur reputation very well Greaser. But i figured maybe u were smart enough not to touch me when your with a bunch of socs." she said smiling. i grabbed her by the hair and punched her in the face with my other hand. not my best punch. but it was enough to fuck up her nose job. Ill take it :P. "whoops. guess im not smart enough." i said shrugging my shoulders. at this point Randy was holding back his sister from trying to hit me back. the others were suprised i hit her in thier territory. But I was even more suprised..because i decided to trust Randy that one night. I knew he wouldnt let them all jump me. atleast not today. James held back meghan as Randy grabbed me by the wrist like a child, and pulled me to his car. He was pissed xD. I laughed to myself a little. "ow." i said. thinking thatd make him let go or loosen his tight grip on my wrist. but no. we got in the car as i rubbed my wrist. We didnt talk so much as he drove me back to our side of town. "what the hell were u thinking?" he said with anger. "OH COME ONNN. she was asking for it, you heard her!" i said defending myself. "You could have gotten yourself jumped. your lucky i got you out of there greaser. any other time i would have let them have you. but a promise is a promise..ur lucky." he said lowering his voice to a normal level. "told you. i told u i couldnt hang out with them." i said sort of loudly. "You couldnt try?! you couldnt just brush it off when she said that!?" he yelled at me. "oh so its my fault?!" i said responding loudly. there was a pause. i saw him smirk and he let out a a slight laugh. "listen to us. we sound like an old married couple." he said looking at the road. "yea well. any other time we would have been at eachothers throats by now.." i said smirking. "yea.." he said still smirking. "uhmm drop me off right here." i said looking out the window. i got out of the car and shut the door. "ur coming here tomorrow." i said to him through the open car window. "alright. later greaser." he said with a little grin. "later adderson." i said smiling a little. I walked to my house and shut the door.
I went to Bed...maybe feeling a little excited for tomorrow.

glitter in the air part 2 (a walk in my shoes)

I woke up to the beautiful sound of birds singing and sunshine illuminating my room...
nah im just playin Xp. i woke up to the beautiful sound of brooke blow drying her hair, singing some song, and johnny using a power drill  at the wonderful hour of 6 AM -.-. and god knows that boy aint trained in any type of carpentry. I got up to kill them both. "GUYS! ITS ONLY 6 IN THE MORNING!!" i screamed. "yes dawn, it is, so get ur ass up and get ready for school!" brook said smiling."watch it smart ass" i said giving her the death stare, and grumbled somthing under my breathe as i walked into my room.I got ready and went to go get that choclate bar curtis kid so we could walk to school. I walked into the curtis house seeing if kitty was ready. no one was in sight. "yo K.C.!" i said yelling. i looked around the house and everyone was M.I.A. i looked at my phone to check the time, and i saw a message from kit. "dearest D.C., i decided to be a bad friend and not wait for you because you take to frickin long to get ready, and i have a test that i dont plan on flunking. sorry <3"  I made a loud sigh and walked out the door. i guess it was just me. I got to class only 10 minutes late. (new record!), and sat down next to my friend, completley ignoring my assigned seat. "Dawn Cade. get in ur assigned seat, ur already 10 minutes late to class." the teacher said tryin to sound like a hot shot.oh how i hate teachers -.-. "whatever man." i said rolling my eyes and dragging myself to my seat. the class giggled. "okay today we are going to do a group project for the next two weeks about getting to know one another." the teach said. it was only the third day of school and we were already doing a project? what a hard ass. so to make a long, boring description of a project short, teach would give us a partner, and then we would hang out with them at thier house and see how they live for one week, and then the other partner the next week and write a report about it blah blah blah.teach opend her fat mouth again "okay so ive already picked the partners. Alyson with joey, sam with rachel, jason with Bob, cherry with lisa, Dawn with randy.." and thats when i died. i looked across the room and saw Sheldons little sidekick smiling back at me like a little bitch. "we start today so bring ur partner home." the teacher said making me even more mad. I told myself fuck it, and i was just going to skip out on the project. "oh and the project is worth 40 percent of ur marking period grade." she added. i was about to murder that bitch for putting me with randy. the bell rang and the day went on. we were told to come back to our first period at the end of the day to go meet up with our partners. I walked in the class to find randy, bob, cherry, marsha, lacey, paul, and james at the back of the class room looking as stuck up as ever. "okay class get with ur partners!" the teach yelled. so like the Ballsy kid that i am, i went up to randy and stared at him like a sassy bitch :p. "dont worry greaser, im just as pissed about this as you are." he said giving me a nasty look back. "whatever adderson, just dont piss me off and i wont have to mess up ur face." i said. "You know cade, being such a smart ass isnt going to get you anywere, it will simply have u jumped." he said with a smirk. "You know what u curly headed fuck?!" i said raising my fist to his face. the teach stepped in "Hey! pipe down! this is a class room! now u better both act like adults or i WILL fail u on this project, and Dawn once again, watch your language or im writing you up." i stared at randy and shook my head. i walked out of the class room and Adderson followed. "yeah. behave Cade. im so sick of u greasers and ur appaling behavior." he said with disgust. i ignored him. i figured i could beat the living shit out of him AFTER the project. I turned around and stopped him in his tracks. "LOOK. i want to beat the shit out of you, and I KNOW u want to beat the shit out of me to. but we have a project that could make us flunk the marking period if we keep picking on eachother. so suck it up and make this unpleasent situation tolerable." i said with a serious face. thier was a pause and randy just looked at me, probably considering what i said. "come on..let me show you what its like to be a socs."

glitter in the air pt 1

loosing hope feels like shit.
ive came to the conclusion that Bob Sheldon is the antichrist. if his goal is to knock us down, when were not to high up to begin with... like kicking a sick puppy. I give up. you win sheldon. tare me down all you want. i just dont care.
It hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns latley. moneys been kind of tight for us, bob's been rubbin me the wrong way, and i dont know. everything just kind of sucks. not trying to sound like a moody bitch or nothin..
i feel alone. i know your all thier, i know you care, and i know you would help me with anything. no offense you guys..but even when you are thier, i still feel alone. i dont know how to explain it. thier must be somthing wrong with me i guess :/. ahh well. ill deal. i guess..
it was around 10 30 pm ish. rainy,kind of cold,and crappy out. i had on my sweatshirt with the hood pulled over my head, with my old jeans and converse. I walked on the curb trying to balance. like we did when we were kids. wandering helped. just me and my mind. i ended up at the park. i sat on the wet swings. thinking about things i could change for myself, and the things i cant change. "look at you, all alone in the rain huh cade?" i looked up slightly. my favorite people standing in front of me -.-. nothing but a couple of socs to top off the fucking day. "whats wrong? run out of vodka?" he laughed. so did they. i just stared at him, still on the swings. i knew i wasnt going to do anything. i couldnt. i felt frozen and to crappy to help myself. and i knew you could see it on my face. but they dont care, they like our missery. I stood up. looking up at the one who did all the talking. he looked confused or troubled for a split second. like somthing was bothering him. maybe because he felt wat i was feeling for just that split second. "come on dalton! do somthin!" his friends said behind him. he smiled an evil one. and within a second he had me pressed against a tree, grabbing my throat. i had my eyes shut, pulling back tears. i didnt want to satisfy him and let him know i was terrified. i opend my eyes. and again, i saw that look on his face. his friends were standing a good 10 ft behind us, grining. he looked behind at them. still holding a tight grip on my throat. "do somthing. you got what you wanted socs. im not fighting back. i wont feel it. im already numb." i said wispering in a shaky voice. still holding back tears.
and he loosind his grip, and let go. he just kept staring at me with that look of confusion and curiosness. "come on man whatr ya doin?" they looked at him like he was crazy. but they were behind him so he didnt see. he whisperd in my ear..
 "mental pain can hurt alot more then physical. Personal, private, solitary pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict. and you've got enough of it.. get better kid." he walked away. his four friends were shocked, even though they didnt hear what was sed.  i heard them asking him questions about why he did nothing. and he kept quite. and just got into the car with them. i slid down the tree and sat on the wet ground confused and shocked with my jaw practically on the floor. the blue mustang started up, and drove away. i watched it disapear into the darkness. i just sat and thought motionless. maybe not all of the socs are emotionless monsters...
I checked my phone and it was 11 30. i got up and dusted off my pants. and walked home. "hey sis" brook said sitting next to austin on our couch. "hey" i said with a small smile. "hey you okay?" austin asked.
"yeah...
 im fine."

the "hot mess" is after your ass sheldon :)

i woke up at the usual, 3 pm. i dragged myself out of bed, made johnny make me some pancakes, got dressed, and left the house.hanging out with friends wasnt on the agenda for today. as most of you know i tend to do stupid, scratch that. fucked up things when im mad. sheldon crossed the line a longggg time ago. but now he crossed MY line, and thats a pretty big mistake on his part. So? what do i do? i got dressed, and left to find sheldon on the socs side.  by myself. yea i know i know, stupid stupid STUPID idea. i agree it wasnt my most thought over plan, but its somthing i felt was a good idea at the time being. So i walked.. with only a switch in my back pocket, and an angry expression. I didnt plan on using my blade or nothin. unless i had to. i knew dam well i was asking to get jumped,and the closer i got to the socs' side of town, the more i wish i would of brought 1 or two people along. i finally made it over to the socs side, wishing i hadnt gone. but i wasnt about to turn around now. my pride got in the way, i couldnt let him do that to one of my friends and  my brother and get away with it.  i knew i could beat up bob..probably. but not him AND his friends. i got out my cell phone, tempted to call shy over. but i felt a cold hand on my shoulder. i jumped, and turned around. no other then a couple of ape faces with devilish grins. i stared at them. "nice sweaters. ur mommys knit them for you?" i said smiling. the front man shook his head with a smile on his face, like i said somthing i shouldnt of. "so we got a smart ass on our hands, dont we boys?" they laughed and the one spit on the ground next to him. i knew damn well i couldnt take them all, im not stupid. i rolled my eyes. "why dont you go fuck yourselves okay?" i said looking at them cooly. "well miss cade, your in our territory, arent you? that means your our territory."  They started walking towards me, sort of circling in. i took out my blade but the one hit it out of my hand. i gotta start holding a tighter grip on that thing  man :/. the front man grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his chest. "ya know your pretty for a greaser girl." he said with an evil smile. "let me go!" i said and punched him in the face. he let go of my wrist, but i saw someone punch another one of the guys in the face. it was andrew brumley..what was he doing on this side of town? i grabbed my knife and cut the other socs that grabbed me across the throat. then they all ran. and me and andrew were left alone in the middle of the street. "hey you okay?" andrew said out of breathe. "yea...yea im fine." i said looking around. i looked at my wrist. it had a red ring around it. "pshht well dont i feel like a woose" i said laughing. "you didnt need to help me. i could have handled it" i said, knowing i was lieng to myself. "yea yea sure" he said sarcasticly. I put my knife in my back pocket and we started walking back to our side. "so why were you over on this side of town?" he said  looking confused. "im here because bobs an ass, and i was trying to find him..but they found me first." i said smirking. "better question. why are you here?" i said looking up at him. "i had some buissness to take care of with a socs." he said looking straight in front of him. the walk back was just about everything. we talked about family and friends, socs, all our problems we both have alot of.  i got to my house around 6 o clock. johnny was laying in pain on the couch. just seeing that almost made me go back out to look for bob again. but i didnt. i just waked silently to my room. This aint over bob. i will find you.

the low down

we had a party it was fun yadayadayada. more important shits been going down.

number one. i gots me a new brother..yippy. its not like i have anything against the kid. he didnt do anything to me. i just dont like change. and now that we have a new brother living with us? its a little much. but hey. il adapt. hes a good kid and all, and he keeps to himself. he doesnt do anything for me to hate him. so its fine..i guess..welcome to the family little guy :/.

next on my list, is mr. super socs sheldon. Its not like he used to get in my way or do anything to make me insanley pissed or want him dead. until he crossed the fucking line and did that to jelly. thats NOT cool -_-. just lettin ya know man. your numero uno on my hitlist. not a good place to be. and watch yourself hun :). im like fuckin jackie chan :p. il get you when you least expect it. and it wont be just me lookin for you. these socs seem like thier gettin pretty active :3. idk bro thiers something about summer that just triggers some wierd thing in thier deranged brains that make them want to hurt us even more. idk man. i aint scarred of sheldon corey or who ever the fuck comes at me, everyone be careful though :/.



me and caleb..yea were done. and thiers no particular reason we split. its because i figured out something about myself. i dont like relationships, well not right now. i have to much on my plate. relationships, they make me uncomfortable and i felt like i had to watch wat i did because i was with someone.i aint sad. hes now just one of my best friends (:. bye bye boyfriend, hello best bud.

on a lighter note, KITKAT CURTIS IS BACK IN TOWN :D. now its time to really start the summer and party with my best friend. i missed you oh so much kit (:. and i am SO happy for you and tibs man! your ganna make a beautiful bride and wife.

another thing, tiff and andrew got married (:! so happy for you to. your wedding was off the heezee lmao xD.

all for now, dawn cade.

Say, why dont we have a party :3?

okay so i vote we should throw a crazy sweet ass party to kick off the summer and invite like the hole world to come, the shepards, are gang, brumleys, and like all the greasers in town. (even though summer already started but watever) idk whos house or were at yet. but if any one has any decent suggestions please inform me of them down thier, in my comments :).

all for now,
dawn

Greasers vs greasers?

I dont know what was wrong with me today. i felt sick, but i didnt see any bunnys around. and to yall that dont know, im highly alergic to bunnys, and those fluffy critters make me sneaze and puff up like a balloon D:. Ha. how i know this is this one time i tried getting a bunny for johnny for his birthday, and i bought it and all that jazz, and then all of a sudden i start sneezing and gagging and coffing. I brought it home to johnny and he asked me why i was all puffy and red. Then i went to the doctors and such. and he says im real allergic to them things. Disapointing, since i enjoy bunnys :3. ah well. any way. i felt like i was having bad allergies. At first all i was trying to do was get to the nightly double, but i remembered that the curtis' always keep some allergy medicine for me in thier bathroom cabinet. so i started walkin thier. I got thier and just walked in like usual. "hey girl. oh no. did u poke a bunny again?!" kit said sounding worried. "no. I learned my lesson the first time!" i sed between sneezes. this one time. actually. it was last week xD. me and kit were outside and i thought it would b cool to go poke a bunny, knowing i was allergic, but it was really tempting i swear. So i poked it and it made me hav this vicious allergy attack D:. "huuuh..sit down. il go get the damn medicine." she said sounding annoyed that she had to get up."thank -sneeze- you." "damn. thiers none left, u had to take like the whole bottle last week, guess we gotta go to the store, come on kid." kit sed while she began walkin out the door. We got to the store and i took the medicine while we were in thier. I was okay after that. so kit decided to tag along and go to the nightly double with me. "hey. hey kit. its our second date ;)." i said kidding around.  she pushed me away and we laughed. then all of a sudden, I see this girl i knew named jordan bays.shes a real tough greaser chick, with a pretty big ego. She was pretty. real long red hair, and these intense brown eyes that could scare the pants off u, or be the prettiest things uve ever seen. Any way, her and caleb used to go together. and she was staring at me like she had a problem. I just stared at her back and tapped kittys leg to show her. kitty looked at her, then me, looking confused. why is she staring? kitty mouthed to me. i shrugged. even though i was pretty sure i knew why. She started walking over. jeeze why does everyone pick fights with me? lol. it never ends well. for them atleast :). "hey. heard u was messin with caleb." she said with her three friends behind her. and this is a perfect example of wen her eyes can scare the hell outa you. i stepped closer to her. " I guess you could say that." i just stared at her. right through her dark eyes, showing her i wasnt scared of her. "yea? well i dont like it. so i suggest u back the fuck off before i do somethin bout it." she said giving me a nasty look and waving her hand in my face. "ha. and i suggest that u get ur hand the hell out of my face before i brake ur fingers." she turned her head and kind of laughed. Then she hit me. right in the face. Really hard to. my cheak was throbbing. but that wasnt gna stop me from beating the tar outa her. Kitty of course, was already screaming in her face. As kitty went on rambling about how she was going to pull out her insides. i randomly got up and hit her as hard as i could in the nose. she fell on the floor. her friends just stood thier like a bunch of wooses XD.  her nose was bleading hard core."ha u gotta little somethin underneath ur nose kid. id clean that up if i were u :p." i said smilling, trying to pretend my cheak wasnt killing me. me and kit just walked away like nothing happend. "so wat movie do u wana see for our second date ;)." kitty said winking at me. "wait...thiers a bunny over thier..." i said staring at it in amusment. "dont u dare dawn." she said rasing an eye brow.  to late. i was already over thier touching its fluffy tail. :D. It was so tempting, it like drew me in D:. i started sneezing and dieng and kitty just walked away laughing :).  i love wabbits XD.

drunken, lost, hot mess.

So much shit has happend since my last post. and it aint nothin good. Dawns been down in the dumps latley :/...ive been completly upset and dejected. Who wouldnt be? My best friends are leaving. Its killing me really. i feel like half of me has misteriously disapeared. Katie and soda lost thier kid. Brook and pony got jumped. i feel lost. like someone picked me up and dropped me in the middle of alaska or some shit. i dont know this place called "home" anymore. ive been drinking. like ur average alchoholic. brook and kit told me to stop. but i cant. It distracts me from feeling "lost" if that makes sense. So i did something that i thought might help. I went to Calebs house. idk y. and i didnt know what i wanted with him. I just needed to talk to someone, i could have talked to kitty or brook or bre. but maybe i didnt want to just talk to him, if u get what i mean..I walked to his house slowly, kicking curbs, drinking wisky as i walked. I sat on the curb drinking as much as my body would let me consume. i felt like i was in a dream sort of, That the twisted feeling in my stomach that i had for a week was only temporary, and wasnt real. As i walked the few lonley blocks i made it to his house,drunk, and in tears. but i made it thier. I dried my eyes because i didnt want him to see me like this. He was outside by his car.talking to a friend. i walked up to him slowly. "..dawn?" he said half conserned and half confused. i just stared at him. with no expression. he tried to take the bottle of whisky from me. i just pulled it back "Dawn. give me the bottle now." "no! i cant. i need it." "dawn! give me the god damn bottle!" he said pulling the bottle away from me. I looked him in the eyes after he took the bottle. i tried to keep my expresionless face. but i couldnt. i broke. and i started crying. it was either because i was real upset, or because he took my whisky. probably a little bit of both. i felt so dumb. me. dawn cade. tough as anything. crying. infront of an extremly hot guy that i liked. He pulled me in. and hugged me. I hated sympathy. it made me feel like a wussy. But no matter how much i hated it, i needed it. he brought me inside. i sat in the living room. "you want a drink or somethin?" he said walking in the kitchen. "yeah, my whisky." i said kinda bitchy. "nah. i was thinkin somethin more around the lines of lemonade or water." he said from the kitchen. i changed the subject. "wheres ur brothers."  he didnt answer my question and brought me in water, and a cup of somethin else. "drink this first. then drink the water." I put the darker drink up to my nose and smelt it. "what is this?" i said. "vinegar. damn, u act like im tryin ta poison u or somethin." he said kinda laughing. i should have known. vinegar cleans the alchohol out of all ur systems and all that jazz. i drank the vinegar, and then the water. "so whats goin on kid. why are u so upset?" he said. i told him the hole thing. About everyone leaving, about katie and the baby, everything. I hate sharing feelings. but i told him. and he gave me advice and helped me. Calebs a good kid once u get past the bad ass exterior. After we stopped talking we watched a movie bout a puppy who gets lost and needs to find his way back home with his trusty kitty cat side kick. it was intense. I fell asleep laying on caleb. I like him. he could b my alchohol for now.

doughnuts with a side of socs XD.

Aright. well im going to tell you what happend last night. Me, car, breanna, and dallas went to go see a movie like always, (because wat the hell are we supposed to do, its flippin deserted oklahoma for god sakes XD), any way. It was actually pretty intense, it was one of those movies that are scary but action packed at the same time. All the little girly girls watchin it were gettin all close to thier  boyfriends and screaming at the scary parts, and that was pissin me off. Its like, shut the fuck up. u knew this shit was gna make u wana piss urself. If ur just gna sit here and scream like ur being raped the hole time, then i cant enjoy my movie. "aright guys, we should go. SINCE SOME PEOPLE DONT HAVE THE BALLS TO WATCH A FAKE SCARY MOVIE, AND ARE RUINING IT FOR ME!!" i sed it as loud as i could, as loud as they were screaming during the movie :). "welp. that was lame." i said throwing my soda into the garbage. "yeah screw this, lets go home." Breanna said, i could tell she was as pissed as i was. "yall wana take the long way home, thiers a donut place on the way :D." carson said, sounding a little to happy bout those doughnuts XD. "pssh. yeah sure, why not." i said. i didnt care by then, i was starving. we went to the doughnut place and got doughnuts. we got a hole box of sprinkly doughnuts, choclate doughnuts,vanilla doughnuts, and these wierd ones the guy who worked thier suggested. He says they had "a suprize inside", i was like wtf XD. lets get um. Me made dal hold the doughnut box. after the whole box was empty we relized how big of a mistake that was. wat a fat ass XD. "so dubs, wat was the surprize inside -_-?" i said giving his chubby ass the death stare. "idk. tasted like raspberries or some shit." he said handing me the empty box. We all couldnt help but laugh, hes just so obiese XD. But of course, our night couldnt end on a good note, because all of a sudden, we see some socs walkin down the dark street. yippy. I wasnt in the mood for fighting. and thats the worst time to pick fights with me. "wana turn around?" bri asked looking at me. "naah, they aint gana make me change directions." i said stubbornly. we got close enough to see how many thier were. thier was 4 guys, thier was one scrawny one with dark hair, he looked nerdy XD, and the others, were big and tall, u could even see thier muscles threw thier sweater vests :3. they had this look on thier preppy little faces, u could tell they werent gna just simply walk by like they should have. "well well well. wat do we have here boys?" the biggest boy said with an evil smile, rubbing his hands together. they all started giggling. "a couple of greasers ey?" the more he talked. the madder i got. socs could get to me without even talkin smack. they started cursin at us. we were just gana ignore them, be the bigger person ya kno. i didnt wana fight that night, and im pretty sure car bri and dal didnt want to either, it was late. we all just wanted to get home and go to sleep. "trash." he said and then he spit at us. I felt it coming. that feeling i get wen im mad. Like i wana throw up and i got all heated and tense. wen he spit i started yelling and cursing and went to go punch him in the fucking face, but bri and dal held me back. I was so mad at them. We aint trash. "aww. now the little short one is gana try to hit us bentley?, wat ever shall we do?" the little one said sarcasticly. no one. no one fucking calls me short. Just as i was gna push dal and bri away and just deck him, car was already ahead of me. she snuck behind the stupid little one and put him in a choke hold. he was gagging and coughing like he was choking on his food :). "now that we got this situation under control, say ur sorry." carson said smiling and slightly strugling to keep the pueny one under control as he squirmed. "say ur sorry!" "no!!" say it! or i aint lettin go!" Sorry!" his words came out in little gasps. and he fell on the ground. "omg!" the one boy said. "just because u could do that to jake, doesnt mean u can do it to all of us." the biggest one said. dubs just walked up to him and decked him in the face. he was down in a second, and dallas had no expression. thier was still two left. me and bri were gettin a little bored, watchin all the action. so. the medium sized one was lookin around gettin a little nervous as i slowly walked up to him with the same evil smile that they had on thier stupid faces before. his eyes started getting wider as i got closer. He said, "wait wat are u gana-!" I punched him in his ugly face real hard, almost knocked his ass down. But. just for my pleasure. I kicked him were the sun dont shine to finish him off XD. he fell to his knees without speaking and looked about only half my height on his knees :3. "whos the short one now dumb fuck?!" i said yellin at him. Bri took care of the other guy he was lyin' on the ground with bri kicking him in his side XD. i think they knew who was boss now :3. "well, so much for goin home, huh?" i said out of breath, but laughing. everyone was out of breath after beatin them. but we all started laughing. I stopped laughing and caught my breath, "so, whose up for some doughnuts?"

Back to black:).

Black hair is tasty cool ;D. 

TO ALL MY LOVING LITTLE MUCHACHOS. the reason dawn has not been on to post or go on the chat is because my computer, unfortunatley exploded D:. and  I aint gettin a new one for A long time :(. say,how is dawn on the internet now, u ask?  Well this is because my computer is like. half broken, and the piece of shit teases me and stays on fer like a limit of 15 minutes, then turns off D:. i  miss u guys a hole lots D:...  BUT. on the magical side, I can use my ipod!..wen dawn finds the charger D:. until then my loves  <3, D dawg

I got up this morning feeling half delusional. i had slept all day the before, from 4:30pm , to 6:00 in the morning today, and I was rudley awoken to loud traffic, lighting, an annoying alarmclock, and a grey, rainy sky. Hell, i was so out of it, that i didnt even remember what day of the week it was. But then, i reached over to my phone, and had a slight feeling of discust, it was thursday. but it was ok because i rememberd me and shyler were hanging out today, the first time since i got back into town! I loved hanging out with shy, because we always had some kind of dangerous fun, which was my kinda fun ;). But i knew i was forced to go to the torcher chamber (school), first. I was tempted to reach over to my phone and see if anyone was up for playin' hookie today, but i decided it was a smart idea for me just to drag myself to school and get it over with, since my grades are slackin' pretty bad, and besides, were the hell was i gana go in this storm? So, i rolled out of bed, ( literally, right on to the cold wooden floor),and got ready for school. Brook was up. She was always so talkative and cheery in the morning, and frankly, it made me want to shoot myself, who wants to talk at 6:00 in the morning? idk bout yall? but im like satan in the morning lol. Any who, i left the house without sayin' a word of it. i was usually the first one to leave in the morning, but the last one home at night. Long boring story short, i got to school. almost died of boredum. got home. and called shyler. "hey. we still on for later?" i asked as i made myself some wierd sandwitch concocsion. "uuhhh..yeah, yeah,  sure. but i gotta little buisness to take care of, that cool?" I was debating weather it was cool or not. I hated watching him fight. It scared the hell out of me. He looked so dangerous when he fought. He didnt care weather he put the kid in the hospital or not, when he fought. he went all out.  It just freeked me out. seeing how harmful he could be. "yeah. its cool. no knives right?" hoping it was just a fist fight. When he used knives it scared me even more. "yeah no knives. just a clean fight." he said with no worry in his voice but he sounded sort of disapointed. He must really hate this kid if he wanted a knife fight. Even he knows they can be dangerous. "who u fightin'?" i asked. "yankel Bush." he said with evil and excitment in his voice. Yankel Bush. Aka Yankie. he was cold hearted and mean, he didnt have friends. just followers. he was best known for drugs and drug dealing, always drinking or having alchohol, and especially, for fighting dirty. He fights people for kicks, and trys to take on the best fighters in town. Even if he never had no problems wat so ever with a person, he particularly  fights kids with bad ass reps, and basically fights to add to his own reputation. Shyler gladly fights anyone who wants to  take him on, just for fun to see who can beat who, but he never wants to actually start a fight with someone unless he has a problem with them. So maybe he didnt hate yankie, he was just a worthy oponent. I didnt like the fact that he was fighting yankie, he aint a fair fighter from what i ever heard, i heard he pulls knives weather its clean or not. but i knew i shouldnt waste my breathe. shy wasnt about to bak out of a fight. but of course i put my two sence in anyway. "hes a dirty fighter..." i sed with worry in my voice. "ha." he merely laughed at wat i sed.."i can take um. and besides, im gna hav a lota people thier to bak me up if he tries anything."he sounded so sure of himself. but his being sure wasnt reassuring me at all. I was still pretty worried. But i still couldnt wait to hang out, why should i worry? shy was always ok, no matter the situation. but now i kno better...


I went to my friend kelly's house, because we were going to the drive in together. to go meet up with shy and alot of people. after debating. i just decicided i didnt want to watch the fight,id just leave wen he sed he was gna go fight.. why should i be thier? he can handle himself. We got ready to go at her house. and something in me decided i wanted to look really cute today :D. usually i dont care as much. were as il just put on jeans a cute shirt and mascara. but instead, i did my hair and put on eyeliner and all that other girly junk. i felt a little uncomfortable. i mean i do get all girly sometimes. but i think this was as girly as i could get. i was wearing a skirt and flats and  kelly curled my hair. i felt out of place :/. but watever. we left her house and made our way to the drive in. we met up with shy and his hole bad ass possy. I loved them all, because they were as reckless as they come XD. Blah..lacey was thier..shylers X girlfriend. actually, idk wat thier supposed to be. thier relationship confuses the hell out of me. She came over to shy and was hanging all over him. i hated her. She had real long blonde hair, with porcilen skin and blue eyes. sort of like a china doll. but i wasnt jelous of her. i just flat out thought she was a hoe. they werent dating anymore but she still always wanted to get with him...or just wanted to do stuff with him.im not sure witch one. but i think it was the second one. We had fun foolin around messin with socs, throwin stuf at people, talking loud during the movie and allmost getting kicked out, and finding beer from someone. We almost got busted for underaged drinking. but shy was the only one who was drinking at the time, so when the guy asked him were his ID was and he was all "uhhhh. i dropped it." it made me laugh.  but that cop was a dumb ass. and let shy "go look for it" i think the cop was either being nice, or he was just a little wasted himself. im not sure. but the cop stood thier waiting and we all just kinda slipt away and went to go find shy. he was talking to some people all the way on the other side of the drive in. we all gathered around shy and the other people he was talking to. "hell yeah, il fight him right now. were the hell is he?" shyler sed kinda angry but steady. "um alright. hes right outside the drive in, he says he aint tryin to get kicked out in the middle of the fight, he says he wants to finish it." the other guy sed to shy. "yeah yeah watevr, we'll see whose finishing who."  he always sounded cocky wen it came to fights. Alota people started following shy out the drive in, cept maybe 10 people,including me. but shy turned around. "dawn u aint comin'?" he said kind of surprised, since i usually go to his fights. "nnah. not this time shy." i said looking directly at him. "watever." he sed kind of mad. he turned away, and walked off with  his 25 people following him, but still looking so independent. ...i should hav been one of those people...now, i know better...


I felt like getting wasted should be on the agenda tonight. But everyone else i was with was bein all fruity and sed that they didnt feel like it. so we watched a movie. it was stupid. had alot of making out and stuff. like i didnt come here to watch this movie, to see two middle aged people making out. like wat do u think im some sort of sick-o? The movie dragged on and i just got up and left. i went to go find someone else who wanted to get drunk with me. Then i saw Shylers brother. He had blood on him. and blood made me nautious and made me want to pass out. he was running towards me. as he got closer, i looked him over. no cuts. it wasnt his blood. His facial expression was scaring the crap out of me. he always looked so happy. never upset, never scared.  But his face. he looked completley frightened, and he looked like he was about to cry. i tried to talk, "whats?!-" he stopped me. "shyler! yankie pulled a knife out of no were! his side! hes bleeding like crazy and it wont stop! Everyone tried to jump in but it was to late! Yankie left! he was drunk!" he was yelling at me, and wasnt taking any breaths, or making much sense, he couldnt control himself, he was shaking like crazy and had tears in his eyes. I felt myself wanting to throw up that very second. but i couldnt. not now. I wanted to cry. but i couldnt do that either.....not now. i didnt want to panic like his brother was, i needed to stay ok for the both of us. i just wanted to do so many things at once, cry, curse, throw up, scream, get help. I ran over as fast as i could. All i saw was a bunch of people in a circle some people calling the ambulance, and some peopl crying and freaking out.I pushed people out of the way and saw shy. i got completley sick to my stomach. he was on the ground.his friend was holding him uder his arms crying and cursing quitley, and another kid had his shirt off pushing on the huge cut on shys side with it, to stop the bleeding, but it wasnt doing much. Shylers eyes were rolling back, he was loosing so much blood. thier was blood everywere. I never seen him look so helpless. His cut was atleast a foot long.I knew shyler shouldnt have fought him. But i didnt stop him. I kneeled down. "shyler! wat happend! talk to me..please talk!, shyler say something please!" I was yelling at him, like he would have said something back. I kept telling him to answer me and he didnt. I was cursing like crazy. "dammit shyler..dammit. why do u get urself into these god damn messes huh?.....god fucking dammit." i wispered closing my eyes tight so i didnt start balling. sure enough the ambulance came and rushed him straight to the hospital. his brother went with him thier. everyone else was still flipping out and shaking and everything. I went to the corner and threw up. I was shaking like crazy and I didnt want to talk to anybody. I knew these people would talk non stop the next day at school. I knew they would hav it in thier mouths all day, wat happend, who would have won the fight, they would have asked me questions about shyler, wat i did wen i saw him get stabbed. but i wasnt thier..and i should have been. but now i kno better.....

I went home at about 12. Brook asked me wats wrong. but i didnt say a word. I kept the same expression, and locked myself in my room. I couldnt sleep. I was only thinking about if my best friend was ok..thier was so much blood everywere. people cant hav that much more then that... his cut was pretty big. I shook my head and tried to think possitive. but i still got no sleep because i felt sick. completley discusted and i felt like i was going to die. I didnt want to go to school on friday. that was the last place i wanted to be. i didnt want to talk about it. i didnt want to think about it. i didnt even want to here the name "shyler" come out of anybodys mouth. but i knew i couldnt avoid it. i left in the morning, again, saying nothing. People in the halls were whispering when they looked at me. I just gave them a look of discust. People were coming up to me all day asking me "what happend?" Who won?" what did he do when he pulled out the knife?" i ignored them completley. and just walked away from them and thier stupid questions.They knew damn well they could have figured out wat happend from 100 other people. but they wanted to ask me cuz they figured i would have the most dirt on the subject. low lives. I was in first period finally, after walking threw the halls of hell, getting talked about and asked questions i didnt want to answer. i was never so thankful to be in class in my life. It was 15 minutes into the period, and i couldnt consentrate. At all. i had to read from the book out loud and i couldnt do it. i stutered, tripped over words, and i was feeling nautious again. "and the uhmm................. average..velocity" i stopped. "um can i go to the nurse..i dont feel so good." i said, my voice sounded really shakey. And i hated how everyone knew why. " here let me write u a pass." she said. I felt more and more nautious and decided forget the pass, i m gana throw up. so i ran out of the class room before i got the pass and since my class is right by the front door, i threw up as soon as i got outside. I was so relieved that i didnt throw up in front of the class, and i beat it out of thier just in time. Instead of going back to class..i went home. I just wasnt up for school. I got a phone call on my cell wen i walked in the door. it was shylers brother. he told me that shy lost alot of blood. and they dont know if hell be "okay". I hung up straight away. wat did he mean shy might not be okay, he was wrong. so were the doctors. shyler was always okay. no matter what. he made it threw so much. he always did. The doctors didnt no wat they were talking about.......but i knew i didnt believe myself, they knew better then i did...... I felt something wierd coming over me. my body got all hot and i felt nautious again. i went in my room. I felt dizzy. i didnt want this anymore, why did that have to happen to him. i felt like dying. it was driving me insane.i was almost going to pass out. but i shook it off. i couldnt take this anymore. for the first time in 9 years i slid down the wall i was leaning against for balance so i didnt pass out, to the bottom and crouched in the corner of my room wall, and cried like crazy. I just cried myself to sleep in the corner of my dark room. And wished this would go away...but it couldnt just go away. as i slowly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, then rain began again, and it was pooring just like on thursday morning..

Padre island

i think padre means father in spanish. father island? thats a little odd D:. anyway IT IS AMAZING HERE. simply the most beautiful place IVE ever seen. The best part so far was the ocean. Im at the beach from 8 o clock to 6:00 o clock at night every day so far, and im trying to talk evie into sleeping on the beach,  but she says it gets cold at night D:. but me and evie are going club hoppin tonight XD. i cant wait. Uww!! and were gna swim with dolphins. i cant wait. I love me some bottle nosed dolphins ^-^. We already met some friends ^-^. thier really nice and hav silly little texas accents. its kinda great. I love this place and wish i lived here...but im getting home sick already :(. I miss you guys, but il b home in 6 days or so. Me and evie got a pretty mean tan. were lookin pretty spiffy. lol. We took soooooo many pictures to. But thiers still so many things on my list that we need to accomplish while were here. Like, swimming with dolphins, getting me one of those fancy cow boy hats, going in the ocean so far that we cant touch the bottom, attempting surfing, talking to some native texians and using the word yall every other word, square dancing, writing in the sand, looking for shells,and much more :D.Yall need to come here sometime. I kno you'd love it. its just one word. Amazing.

Me and evie :).

                                 lmao yea, thats real attravtive..ha. we both look like idiots XD                             

Dawn is slackin'.

im gna post bout everything thats going on :D. since i havent really latley.

ok so..

1. DAWN AND EVIE IS GOING TO PADRE ISLAND IN TEXAS TONIGHT! WERE DRIVING THIER!...i wouldnt rather b anywere else then the ocean. when i get older thats were im living because i think its the most beautiful thing in the world. i love everything about it..

2.I got kitty to come bak to tulsa soon. yay :'). i get my best friend bak :}!!!!

3.Me and shy got in cop trouble the other day...long story short. we were at a big party. and we all got introuble for "posession of drugs" even though i didnt touch any. and "underaged drinking"...now that i cant denie. but luckily, out of my 16 years. for once this cop wasnt an ass, and he let us all off with a call to our parents. lol brook just answered the phone and pretended she was my mom :). thannks sis!

4.Shy (jamies X bf) and jamie went on a um..idk wat to call it...im gna say date :). even though u guys may not think so, but in dawns mind. thats wat is is :p. u better post about it!!! u better tell me everything.


5. brook found a brand new dog since she had to giv him away the other one(cali) and she got a new one!! its nname is frankie! (but its really nnamed bucket in my mind)


thats about it :D! thier. im caught up now ^-^.

p.s. comment or il b upset with u :(.



WERE ME AND EVIE ARE GOING! ISNT IT BEAUTIFUL :}!!

                              Padre island, Texas :)!!

their, 80 reasons.

80 Reasons why kitkat is my best friend, and the reasons she needs to stay in Tulsa. and the things il miss if she doesnt..


1. your my best friend.
2. your have so many people who care here.
3. your familys here.
4. where are u gna go?
5. so u can keep me out of trouble.
6. because this is your home, and you were raised here.
7. youll make new friends.
8. u might start hanging out with the wrong crowd.
9. youll forget about us.
10. alot of people will start leaving.
11. the gang will fall apart.
12. the gang needs you.
13. the gang will replace u. and i dont kno wat i would do.
14. who will i hang out with...
15. who will make sure your safe?
16. what if something happens, and i cant be thier for you.
17. ill need a new best friend.
18. who will burn my popcorn for me?
19. you make me laugh till i want to pee myself.
20. your wierd as hell, just like me :).
21. who will i watch girly movies with?!, not with the guys D:..
22. i can talk to you about anything.
23. you can talk to me about anything.
24. your always thier for me.
25. im always thier for you.
26. wen im feeling the worst, u make me feel better.
27. when YOUR feeling the worst, i try my best to make u feel better, who will do that for u :{.
28. the way you sing corny songs
29. the way u embarass me by acting like an idiot :).
30. the way I embarrass u by acting like an idiot.(who else could embarass u like me?!)
31. how wen im being a bitch, u try and help me anyway.
32. the crazy things we do together, the things we couldnt do with anyone else.
33. how u hardly ever get mad at me.
34. how we aaaaaaalways get eachother.
35. how u always forgive me...when no one usually does.
36. how we tell eachother everything.
37. how u can practically read my mind, and i can read urs.
38. we always get eachothers jokes, wen no one else does.
39. the way we finish eachothers sentences.
40. all of our inside jokes, that no one else would get.
41. The way we never give up on eachother
42. The things that only ME nd YOU could do for fun, that other people would think is wierd.
43. the way you hit soda with ur spoon :).
44. Your my other half.
45. Your laugh is contagious :).
46. Your so smart, and im not. i need ur smarts :3.
47. I love how you would do anything to make me happy..when not many people would.
48. I would do anything to make you happy.
49. Who would protect me? D:.
50. How you understand why i do things.
51. how i understand why you do things.
52. I love how strong and independnt you are.
53. no one can replace you :(.
54. youll forget about when we were best friends :(
55. youll forget about when we were kids :(, and move on.
56. youll make a new best friend.
57. the way you push me to try hard in school, when no one else cares.
58. how we can have hour long conversations about the stupidest stuff.
59. how were always honest with eachother
60. the times we spend together shopping, seeing movies, just hanging out, are always fun.
61. how hyper and retarted we get together.
62. how if i dont want to be home, u always let me stay at ur house (and vise versa)
63. il miss your crazy ness
64. The way u refuse to completley grow up.
65.our crazy voices, sounds, and imitations that we always do together.
66.How you are always concerned about me, and im always concerned about you.
67. Your always good at everything, when im not.
68. il miss the places we go together D:.
69. ur my first best friend. and i dont no how to make a new one like u:(
70. how we are risk takers together.
71. how you always no what to say when we get in cop trouble.
72. how you always comfort me (vise versa)
73. Il loose part of my family.
74. you'll ruin my streak of not crying for 9 years.
75. how we always finish eachothers sentences.
76. we always think the same guys are cute.
77. how i can never stay mad at you.
78. the way you always listen to me
79. the way i always listen to you.
80. That i love you and if you leave...i dont know what would happen to me or you.